SHELLEY ON THE TELLY: It's the Sunhill cop-off shop.
Byline: Jim ShelleyTHE slightly alarming soapification of The Bill (ITV) continues apace. Over-sexed Hollyoaks-styled young girls in school uniform have started to appear. A hunky new Australian PC has arrived.
The rather tedious relationship between Luke Ashton (who is gay) and his fellow PC, Kerry (who is more manly than he is) has moved on since Luke's fling with Sergeant Craig Gilmore to an improbable wedding, an even more improbable pregnancy and now abortion. Kerry has discovered that not only is her husband gay but that her Inspector (Irene from EastEnders) knew all along. Damn.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" she demanded - perhaps unwisely, given her choice of groom. It doesn't say much for Kerry'schances of promotion to CID that it took her so long to work out Luke was gay.
The way she attacked him outside the abortion clinic suggested she would be useless at beating up suspects. "I want your minds on the job, is that understood?"
Irene insisted furiously - which was surely the problem in the first place. Luke meanwhile had backache - which he claimed was from sleeping on the couch. Yeah right!
Elsewhere there was a more diverting storyline about a local headmistress accused of having sex with her pupils.
"This is nonsense!" she complained, recalling Phil Collins' Nonce Sense campaign in Brass Eye. Sadly, though, this was a pretext for getting Sgt Boyden to spend as much time with DS Nixon's 15-year-old Britney-esque daughter Abigail as possible.
Given the station's recent tribulations, you'd have to ask whether any parent would let her daughter anywhere near Sun Hill.
Boyden took her out to all manner of robberies and mini riots - for which she expressed her gratitude by kissing him on the lips.
One of the old school of more experienced, slightly dubious cops, Boyden - sadly - is probably destined to leave any day. All things considered, Dixon Of Dock Green would be rolling in his grave.
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| Title Annotation: | Features |
|---|---|
| Publication: | The Mirror (London, England) |
| Date: | Mar 14, 2003 |
| Words: | 320 |
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