YOU wept buckets... the BBC drank buckets; FREELOADERS' 12-HOUR BOOZE AND FOOD ORGY WIPES pounds 24m SMILE FROM COMIC RELIEF.

At the British premiere for Steven Spielberg's Holocaust memorial, Schindler's List, the great Hollywood director introduced his epic with a rueful apology.

Surveying the cinema full of guests in dinner suits and evening gowns, Spielberg explained that, on this occasion, the normal first-night party had been rejected as "inappropriate".

"I would suggest," he quietly urged, "that you remain seated for a few moments after the film to digest its contents. And then simply go home..."

A pity, perhaps, that the BBC did not consider the insensitivity of laying on 12 hours of non-stop partying for legions of hangers-on after the wonderful work by Comic Relief and millions of members of the public succeeded in raising an expected pounds 24 million.

While a galaxy of well-meaning stars pressed Britain's collective guilt button, up to a thousand guests danced, drank and dined free all night, courtesy of the Beeb.

We are realists, not killjoys. Performers and technicians needed feeding. Those involved deserved a drink and our thanks for a job well done.

But how did an all-night party help the starving, the poor, the diseased? One word says it all...INAPPROPRIATE.

The stars did their bit, appearing free for a good cause.

You did your bit by laughing at their jokes, weeping at the scenes of African famine and giving pounds 24million to Comic Relief.

And the BBC did their bit - staff, hangers-on and freeloaders gorged on sumptuous food, fine wine and beer in a 12-hour orgy of boozing and bingeing.

As pictures of starving children filled your TV screens at home, behind the scenes there was a gigantic non-stop feeding frenzy.

It disgusted even BBC insiders used to the lavish expenditure of licence- payers' cash.

One said: "The food and drink alone could have kept an African village going for a whole year.

"Add the cost of studios, production rooms, hospitality suites and staff on overtime and it would also have met the cost of sinking a well and helping the villagers become self- sufficient.

"Comic Relief is supposed to be about helping the needy, but the BBC staff's attitude is: 'Great. It's party time again.'

"Even those not on duty come in and pretend to be doing some work so they can put their snouts in the trough."

Friday's massive freebie began in the famous Green Room hospitality suite in the basement of the BBC TV Centre in West London.

Drinkers jockeyed for position at the makeshift bar as girls in bikini tops and hot pants dipped into the finger buffet and swigged bottles of strong cider and designer beers.

Behind the bar were crates stacked with free drink. Staff frantically took orders while others replenished supplies.

An exhausted waitress slumped like a rag doll outside in the corridor amid a heap of empty wine boxes.

"I'm knackered," she said. "I can't believe how much booze has been drunk - it's unbelievable. Half of them must be alcoholics."

Six floors above in the executive suite, the BBC top brass were entertaining. There was food for every taste, including smoked salmon, feta cheese and olives, pates, honey-glazed sausages and spicy chicken.

Three minutes was the longest guests had to wait before the tables were re-stocked. Ice buckets bobbing with bottles of beer and wine lined the bar and staff were rushed off their feet trying to cope. Some guests just helped themselves, grabbing armfuls of bottles to save time.

BBC Director General John Birt drank lager from a bottle while his director of programmes, Alan Yentob, sipped red wine with David Baddiel.

By 1am the Green Room and the executive suite were winding down, but the experienced freeloaders knew the real party was just about to begin.

From above and below, they all piled into the lifts. Destination - the BBC Club on the fourth floor.

Five hundred revellers poured in there to be greeted by two enormous round tables laden with 400 glasses of wine.

In less than five minutes every glass was empty.

Queues formed at the bar for refills while other guests staggered off with armfuls of bottled beers and alco-pops.

Trestle tables, 35 feet long, groaned with a selection of hot dishes and salads, smoked salmon, duck pate and chicken. In a cooled cabinet, row upon row of mouthwatering cream and chocolate gateaux sat alongside an impressive choice of cheeses.

One guest said: "The party went on until almost five in the morning - and the free booze flowed until then."

By contrast, the stars who actually did the work were restrained. Lenny Henry left after 20 minutes, three Spice Girls sipped Coke and left after 90 minutes. Comic Jo Brand sat with one bottle of lager and a plate of tortilla chips.

So what could the BBC have done with YOUR cash, rather than lavished it on THEIR staff and hangers-on?

Just one round of sandwiches - pounds 2.80 - would have bought a home delivery kit for an Ethiopian midwife and paid for a woman in Ghana on a literacy course.

Three bottles of wine - pounds 15 - could have bought a goat for a family of Nomads facing starvation after years of drought.

Ten bottles of beer, pounds 20, and you have ten pairs of crutches for children in Mozambique crippled by exploding land mines.

Last night the BBC claimed: "The minimal standard hospitality was provided for artists and for crew."

For viewers who gave their hard-earned cash to Comic Relief, with a final total expected to top pounds 24million, it was Red Nose Day.

For the BBC, it was Red Face Day.

Article Details

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Author:	Golden, Andrew; Williams, Alexandra
Publication:	Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:	Mar 16, 1997
Words:	924
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