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End of Street bizarre love triangle in sight.

LISTEN folks, don't worry, you've only got a couple more weeks to put up with this Linda/Mike/Mark nonsense in Coronation Street, I promise you.

I mean we all KNOW Mike (Johnny Briggs) will find out that Linda (Jacqueline Pirie) has been having it away with his son, so why not just put us out of our misery and make it sooner rather than later?

Instead, this week we have to endure four episodes of will he go, won't he go, will they kiss, won't they kiss nonsense.

Right, glad that's out the way - now to the rest of the Street.

But before I get there, can I just say this: how come, when the country had a flu epidemic (of which I was a victim, sympathy please), every soap star managed to avoid it?

Okay, back to the Street, and Dev (Jimmi Harkishin) and Amy (Jayne Ashbourne). This is good stuff is it not? Yeah, it's been done a million times before, but she is so mad, it's compulsive viewing.

What is not is the impending storyline about Sarah-Louise having an eating disorder. We've got this in EastEnders with Kim - we do not need it in the Street as well, thanks.

Les (Bruce Jones) is good value this week, too, getting absolutely blitzed in the Rovers before his hearing. Well, you wouldn't expect it to be any other way now, would you?

Now, talking of dragged-out storylines, what about the Graham saga in Emmerdale?

Well, my friends, don't get too excited, but it won't be long. This week Pollard (Chris Chitell) manages to convince Marlon (Mark Charnock) of Graham's (Kevin Pallister) guilt and together they try to get him to admit to Rachel's murder.

Of course he tries to run, but will Kathy leave the village with him?

Roy (Nicky Evans) will be leaving soon - and wouldn't you if you'd just found out your wife, who has just tried to kill herself, had slept with her step- brother and you possibly weren't the father of the baby she was going to have? Maybe, just maybe, you'd think it was time to re-evaluate your life ...

Which is clearly what Emily (Jennifer Ellison) is doing in Brookside. She's decided not to be a nice teenager anymore, but to be a destructive, evil little madam, and who better to take your teenage- angst and anger out on than your dead dad's lover? Happens all the time round my way

So, this week she arranges for a load of manure to be delivered to Susannah's (Karen Drury) house. Nice one.

Katie (Diane Burke) is amazed this week when Jacqui (Alex Fletcher) refuses to defend her over her sacking by Nathan. Oh shut up Katie. Honestly. She called Nathan for everything, she broke client confidentiality and she walks about with a face on her that would make you think she's been sucking lemons for a week, and she wonders why she gets the sack?

So, on to Sunset Beach. Not spoken about this for a while have we? I was quite distressed to hear that it was to be axed, and so, out of sympathy I have started to tune in again.

It's wonderful. I especially liked the potion storyline where Annie bought potion which turned Olivia (Leslie Anne Down) back into an alcoholic.

But this week it's even better as Olivia tells Tobias (Sam Behrens) she's glad Gregory is dead, not realising of course, that they are one and the same, as are Ben and Derek (Clive Robertson). Bloody hell, it's bizarre. But watching the omnibus is the perfect way to waste a whole Saturday afternoon.

And then, on Sunday morning you can watch the Hollyoaks omnibus. This week we see Gina (Danielle Brent) and Emily's (Lorna Pegler) love affair fade even more as they both apply for the editor's position on the college mag. Pretty important job it is, too. Lifelong almost. Ruth (Terri Dwyer) had it for about five years

And so to EastEnders, our soap of the week, and what a week.

Phil (Steve McFadden) begs Lisa (Lucy Benjamin) to stay. Why in God's name should she? You'd need a permanent bucket by the bed if you woke up to him every morning.

Then, of course, it's the big Matthew (Joe Absolom) and Steve (Martin Kemp) showdown.

Just don't hit him in the face, Matthew, if that's okay? Cheers mate.
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Brown, Merle
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jan 29, 2000
Words:731
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