Who wants to date a millionaire? Can a service that promises to match eligible gay bachelors with men of means really result in true love?
Dan, a 28-year-old aspiring Los Angeles actor, and some of his friends were flipping through a gay magazine earlier this year when an ad for a dating service called the Gay Millionaires Club caught their eye. The friends joked about how jaded they had become regarding the dating scene in West Hollywood, which they found to be filled with "celebrity wanna-bes" and "shallow gym bunnies."And Dan, figuring he had little to lose, decided to check out the service, which promised to connect the right people with gay millionaires.
The application process was grueling. After submitting some initial information and a photo through the service's Web site, he underwent a lengthy in-person interview, in which he was asked detailed questions about past relationships, his personal life, his religious preferences, and whether appearance or personality was a priority when seeking a partner.
A few weeks later, Dan was set up on a date with a prospective millionaire partner at a posh Los Angeles restaurant "I thought it was for people who were desperate and could not find a date," Dan says. "I expected dogs in their 50s and 60s looking for a houseboy."
But Dan says to his surprise, he found himself seated across from a millionaire who turned out to be not much older than he was. He was not only extremely handsome, Dan says, but also charming and intelligent.
And after the first date the millionaire never telephoned Dan again.
"I thought I was going to be the one to make the decision, since I am the young one. I never considered the possibility I would not be good for him," Dan says. "I blew the date. I was so nervous, and I was chattering away."
The Gay Millionaires Club is just one of the latest variations in the craze started by TV's Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. But the club, which was founded in 2001 by Jill Kimmel-Hankoff, is no game. It's a real-life dating service for affluent gay men "who don't have the time or the desire" to find dates on their own," says Kimmel-Hankoff, who is straight.
It works like this: Any gay man can apply--at no charge--to meet one of Kimmel-Hankoffs nearly two dozen millionaires. She says about 5,000 men have sent in their pictures and online questionnaires. "My role here is really to separate the wheat from the chaff," she says. Gold diggers need not apply either, she adds: "[The millionaires] are paying me to be discerning in order to arrange the best possible matches."
And pay they do. On the low end, Kimmel-Hankoff charges millionaires $15,000 for one year of matchmaking services. But the price goes up based on the complexity of the search, she says. (She would not specify the upper range of the price scale.)
The millionaires--who must have at least $1 million in liquid assets--also submit to an intensive one-on-one grilling about their personal lives and their ideal mates. But they don't seem to mind. "I think it is a fair price, and Jill is very committed," says Francois, a 49-year-old Belgian investor who has been trying to find a partner through the service for the past year--so far, unsuccessfully.
Kimmel-Hankoff says she sets her clients up with dates whose resumes are often as impressive as the millionaires'.
Take Andy, a 29-year-old marketing executive from Orange County, Calif., for example. He says he makes $200,000 a year and hopes to be a millionaire himself someday.
He describes himself as a "pretty good-looking guy" who applied to the Gay Millionaires Club to find a hardworking, like-minded professional. "I couldn't care less about money," he says.
Despite Andy's good looks and great-paying job, however, love with a millionaire has so far eluded him. Commenting on his first experience, he says, "I felt a little slutty, like my madam was sending me out." (Kimmel-Hankoff is quick to point out that the Gay Millionaires Club is not an escort service.)
One person who has found a mate through the service is Robert, a 37-year-old millionaire and former real estate mogul from Orange County. Robert says he went to the Gay Millionaires Club to find someone with "a little bit of class and culture" and to get help sorting "through folks I did not want to deal with--you know, the immaturity and bad attitudes and drama."
After being set up on five other dates, he met Troy, an 33-year-old architect who Robert says "has his own money, has earned his own way, and who, very clearly, did not want to depend on me." They've been together for about a year.
Robert's endorsement aside, the Gay Millionaires Club does have its detractors. Susan Gore of the Mentor Group, a consultancy that specializes in gay, diversity, and religious issues, says the service raises thorny concerns. "I think there is something troubling about being so overt about money as a qualification for love or a relationship," Gore says. And Jeff Titterton of PlanetOut Partners, whose Gay.com and PlanetOut sites offer means for gay people to meet potential dates, says the idea behind the Gay Millionaires Club is problematic. "People who define themselves by their wealth are probably not worth knowing," he says.
But these comments miss the mark, says Kimmel-Hankoff. "Look, if we called this the Sincere Relationship Guys Club, nobody would answer," she says. "They are paying me to be discerning and to arrange for the best possible match.
"When people think that [the service] is expensive, we think it's cheap," she adds. "Putting two people together who may be together for the rest of their lives is priceless."
Quittner has also written for The New York Times and Business Week.
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| Author: | Quittner, Jeremy |
|---|---|
| Publication: | The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine) |
| Date: | Jun 24, 2003 |
| Words: | 952 |
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| Next Article: | Pride 2003. |