Soap watch; It's all action on Street of shame.
HOLD on to your hats, this is going to be a rocky ride. Coronation Street is pulling out all the stops this week with some fantastic action.At the top of the pile is, of course, the wedding of the century. And just check out Linda's dress, complete with applique bunches of grapes .... nice. Not.
By the end of it all, Mike has more to worry about than Linda's dress.
Mark, perfectly on cue, goes stark raving bonkers and runs out of the church, leaving Roy to stand in is as best man. He then trashes the bridal suite and spills all to his dad, who, unbelievably chooses Linda over him, and tells his son to sling his hook.
Blimey. Let's all pause for breath together. Ready to carry on?
While all this is going on, Jim MacDonald is having a mad moment of his own - beating up Jez in revenge for Jez's attack on his son, Steve.
And of course, they take Jez to the same hospital as Steve, which sets the scene for a dramatic climax to this storyline. But will there be a fight to the death?
Among all this madness, there are two more storylines going on - Les Battersby nicks Emma's ring to give to wife Janice on their wedding anniversary, and Gary Mallett - finally having got over the death of the lovely Joo-day, is set to move to Blackpool to be with amusement arcade change-lady Paula. Aaaww. Isn't that nice?
And well, isn't he nice - the new bloke in the factory? Harvey Rueben turns up to look after the ship with Mike and Linda away, and is that the sound of many a heart fluttering? Oh, methinks it is, with Bobbi and Karen's making the loudest noise.
Noise is something Gail and Martin could do with. As they attempt a night out to get things back to normal, all they can hear is stony silence.
In Brookside, Kevin breaks his silence, finally reporting his stepdad's abuse to the police.
And Jimmy isn't being at all silent when he sets off on one of his amazing rants at little Kylie's birthday party. Before that there's more fine manic behaviour from him at the school as he starts his new cleaning job.
Susannah has a go at Jacqui, who thinks Ms Morrissey is not setting Harry a good example. Of course, what they are doing is setting up a list of suspects for Suse's murder - all the people she's argued with in recent times. But is Jacqui capable of murder - only time will tell.
Best bit of the week involves the hapless Max Farnham and horrendous, but at the same time, brilliant, Leanne. She accuses Max of coming on to her. The scene in the shower room is priceless.
EastEnders is a tragic as ever. Dot is devastated by her actions, and Ethel's death, and by the end of the week has confessed all.
Terry is miserable, and sets fire to all of Irene's possessions - in the middle of the house! Steve, Phil and Jim finally rescue him, and he decides it's time to make a fresh start. Well, I guess you would after you'd burnt your house down.
Frank is irritated by Peggy. Funny how it's taken him so long to notice how annoying she is. But is Pat any better? EastEnders, I beg of you - do not show this pair in bed again. It's hours before the watershed, for goodness sake.
Let's see more of Steve. With Mel if he has to, I suppose. And she wishes he would this week, as he backs off, playing her at her own game.
Hollyoaks gets more ridiculous this week as Tony offers Carol the money to get her boob job, just so she can get back with Finn, so he doesn't marry Tony's mum Vicky. Are you with me? No, I thought not.
Lewis, my least favourite soap character of all time (although Ruth is right up there with him), is feeling guilty about his tryst with Lorraine and refuses to sleep with her again. Which opens the gates, methinks for Ruth to find out, and a big barney to ensue. Great. I can hardly wait to see Terri Dwyer overact her way through this one.
In Emmerdale, Seth is also on the ground, and found by Ollie after his mugging. It's terrible this storyline. Teenagers can be so cruel. Poor Seth.
Mandy is not a happy lady this week, as Paddy seems to have different ideas for their life together. Marlon and Tricia are delighted when Bernice tells them they can hold a French theme night in the Woolpack - makes up for the disappointment of not getting the pub.
And Donna is living a life of misery because of Kelly and Scott's affair. Yawn. So boring.
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| Title Annotation: | Features |
|---|---|
| Author: | Brown, Merle |
| Publication: | Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland) |
| Date: | Sep 9, 2000 |
| Words: | 800 |
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