tv hoice; DON'T MISS THIS!
I Own Britain's Best Home And Garden, Thursday, five, 8pm
OOH LA-DEE-DA! Get you, Mr Braggy Pants.
Got Britain's best home and garden have you?
Well, I'll tell you pal, nobody likes a showoff.
Anyway, a neatly manicured lawn, beautifully filled flower beds, an ornamental pond and some well-tended hardy perennials may look lovely, but are they a truemeasure of happiness?
I mean, look at me. My back garden, with its sunken patio and yellowing weeds, may be little more than a graveyard of crisp packet tumbleweed, but amI down?
Well, yes actually. Now that you mention it, I am
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, BBC One Wales, Friday, 10.35pm
FRIDAY nights just haven't been the same without Jonathan Ross.
Granted, the last series struggled with some patchy guests, so here's hoping that the chaps from The Mighty Boosh bring enough chuckles to the table to make viewers ignore that fact that the other two celebs appearing on the leather sofa are Kelly Brook and Jennifer Ellison.
Never mind - think positive Nathan, think positive.
Music comes from The Streets back to brighten up another weekend downpour to performthe rather unfortunately titled Heaven For The Weather.
Big Brother Final, Friday, Channel 4, 8pm
WORTH checking out just tomake sure it's actually over, there's no doubt that this year's Big Brother has been the worst yet.
Even by BB's dire standards it's been barrel-scrapingly awful.
Actually, it's broken through the bottom of the barrel and is, in fact, tunnelling its way to the earth's molten core.
Join me in gathering round a telly screen to wish Big Brother goodbye and good riddance - and don't forget to all turn off en masse just before they announce the winner. That'll show' em.
Chopper, Tonight, BBC2 Wales, 11.30pm
BRUTALLY violent and bruisingly funny, Eric Bana's first proper big screen role as notorious Aussie criminal Mark 'Chopper' Reid is an unmissable watch.
Based on the best-selling autobiographical books, some of which were written while he served a jail sentence for murder, Bana manages to make Reid somehow completely charming yet utterly terrifying at the same time.
Brilliantly acted all round by a largely unknown cast, it's a dark-hearted treat.
Britain's Strongest Man, Wednesday, five,8pm
WHAT do you mean it's not sport?
It's sport in the same way darts is sport - huge hulking men who have not seen
Their own groins in years lifting things(with darts it's pint glasses, here it's car engines, boulders or some such other torture) for guts and glory.
In the running is6ft7in,28stone Terry Hollands from Kent, pictured above,
Whose neck is as thick as my thigh and who could probably, if he wanted, crush your head like a negg plant with his huge shovel-sized fists.
My money' son him.