bevan on the box; nathan bevan casts a critical eye over the week's tv.
OME things can't be unseen, no matter how much you try.
SLike Shaun Ryder getting a coffee enema on ITV's 100 Years Younger in 21 Days, the channel's latest reality show in which 'mature' celebs seek to recapture their youthful looks via means of systematic torture for our viewing pleasure.
And, whilst desperately resisting the urge to use my 'cr*ppuccino' joke, I have to say that watching the former Happy Mondays frontman having his bowels evacuated on prime time telly will stay with me for a long time.
Certainly longer than the name of the eventual winner of this year's round of The Voice UK - an admission which certainly says something about the state of light entertainment programming in this country.
Coffee In fairness though, 100 Years Younger... was fairly amusing stuff, with many of the best bits coming from Ryder's constant griping - and, having actually interviewed the reformed rock wild man myself on a few occasions, I can vouch for that being pretty much par for the course.
For example, take my initial meeting with him several years ago, which was around about the time he finally showed up to play a solo gig in Cardiff following a number of postponements.
I can distinctly remember him coming across like someone explaining away an 11th hour sickie to their boss, so detailed and rehearsed was his list of the ailments behind the delays and date changes.
So it was reassuring, in a way, to see that nothing had changed now he'd been flown to Sardinia to enlist in a de-aging detox bootcamp, alongside the likes of ex-Catchphrase host Roy Walker, Benidorm's Sherri Hewson and chunky astrologer Russell Grant.
10 minutes into some light exercise and he was huffing and puffing his protestations.
"That's it - I'm out, DONE," he spat before throwing in the towel, having cited a bad leg, a bad back and a painful growth on one of his testicles.
Black Grape? No, that's just the name of the other band Ryder sang with after the Mondays decided to jack it in.
"Like having toothache in me nuts," is how he described the condition in his inimitable Manc tones, and, I'll admit, it did sound horrendous.
That still didn't stop the 55-year-old ex-party animal from being shown up well and truly by aged EastEnders warhorse June Brown, AKA Dot Cotton.
anyone? At 91, and having smoked like a chimney since her teens, Brown still managed to flutter around the rest of her team like Isadora Duncan with a Capstan Full Strength hanging out of her gob.
She even treated her fellow rejuvenistas to a display of Tibetan yoga - one of her supposed secrets to staying supple and young, at least of heart, all these decades.
Although, to my inexpert eye this seemed to solely consist of spinning on the spot a dozen times, before lying down on the floor, lifting her legs in the air and flashing her drawers to everyone else in the room.
Can't wait to see how they'll try releasing one of those obligatory celeb fitness DVDs off the back of that.
| TV's best kept comedy secret - This Country - returned to BBC Three last week. A mockumentary set amongst the moribund lives of two Cotswolds teens, it's warm and wickedly funny. You should pay a visit.
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|Title Annotation:||Features; Review|
|Publication:||Liverpool Echo (Liverpool, England)|
|Date:||Mar 4, 2018|
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