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Your Life: Dear Miriam - I need distance from moody lover; HEALTH ADVICE.

Byline: DR. MIRIAM STOPPARD

Dear Miriam,

How do you break up with someone at a distance? My girlfriend is Dutch and we met when she was working in the UK for a multinational company. She returned home three months ago.

Our relationship wasn't going too well before she left. She was moody and distant and our sex life had gone off the boil. When I visited her in Holland, she seemed a lot happier but I still felt there was an emotional distance between us and I couldn't relax.

I've met someone new and want to move on but it's easier to pretend to her everything's all right. What can I do?

Justin

Dear Justin,

If you're no longer in an exclusive relationship, she needs to know. It's not fair to keep her in the dark.

A personal visit would be better but, if it would delay things too long, tell her over the phone - and do it soon.

Remember, even a telephone break-up is less painful than being lied to, though it will probably come as a shock as you haven't given her advance signals.

When you do it, don't just say what you have to say and walk away or hang up the phone - give her a chance to respond. Be kind and considerate.
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Title Annotation:Letters
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Nov 20, 2008
Words:216
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