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Your Letters: Let's put the squeeze on these rude food gropers.

LETTER OF

THE WEEK

WHY do so many people insist on molesting food in supermarkets?

I've seen them prodding the pears, groping the grapefruit and squeezing the bread completely out of shape.

Some even test the ripeness of melons by using the dubious method of inserting a thumb.

They then toss everything back on the shelf, complaining that it's either too hard, too soft, or bruised!

David Bennett,

Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs

What makes you furious in the supermarket, readers?

FOOTBALL manager Roy Evans parted from Liverpool with a golden handshake of pounds 500,000 after long and loyal service - as exclusively revealed in the Sunday People. Roy wept buckets. If I were him I'd have been pretty emotional too - with tears of joy at being half-a-million quid richer!

L Thomas,

Southsea, Hants

I CAN'T believe Jilly Johnson and Co have a combined age of 220 (Sunday People Magazine, last week).

There are five girls in our office, yet even with our combined age of just 110 we couldn't match these ladies. Perhaps there's something to be said for the 1970s after all. They certainly don't seem to have done those girls any harm.

D Cuthbert,

Newcastle upon Tyne

READER K Lormer wrote to say he wishes his Muslim mateHappy Diwali (Letters, last week). Well, I'm really surprised that his mate doesn't punch him on the nose! Diwali is a Hindu festival!

Mrs Lorna Parkins,

Thornley Heath, Surrey

I DISAGREE with reader Paul Johnson (Letters, last week) as I love Christmas and would celebrate it all year round if it was up to me. So what if the streets and shops are decorated? They look nice and no-one is forced to buy early unless they want to.

Mrs E Hobbs,

Plumstead, South London

IT could have been the biggest disaster in the history of mankind if the mile-wide asteroid had hit us on August 10 this year.

A 17-mile high tidal wave, a quarter of the world's population killed...and yet nobody was told about this near miss until it was revealed in the Sunday People. A miss is as good as a mile - but what a miss!

Dennis Hughes,

Shrewsbury

WHILE on holiday in Yorkshire I asked an old man to direct me to the place I wanted to visit. "Get the bus to the Mucky Duck and turn right there," he said.

I did exactly as instructed - and discovered that the Mucky Duck was in fact a pub called the Black Swan! Have other pubs been given similar funny nicknames, I wonder?

Margaret Wilkinson,

Manchester

My old local in Newcastle was nicknamed the Flying Bottle.

HOW can designers dilly-dally about the cost of renovating Wembley's twin towers? Wembley wouldn't be Wembley without them. Dolly Parton didn't dilly-dally about the cost of a restructuring job on her "twin towers".

Maurice Leck,

Timperley, Cheshire

READER W Willis asked how Sally and Greg in Coronation Street could be in competition with Mike Baldwin when they didn't have staff or machines.

Well, as an avid fan, he'd have heard Sally saying in an earlier episode that they imported all their clothing from abroad (Romania, I think) where it was made cheaply - so they don't require machinists.

Mrs M Lodge,

Mirfield, West Yorks

Which proves you can't put one past our eagle-eyed Sunday People readers. What I want to know is whether Mike Baldwin's hair is made cheaply in Romania too?

THE variety show staged to celebrate Prince Charles' 50th birthday was dreadful. However, it gave me the biggest laugh of the year when Geri Halliwell sang Happy Birthday to the hapless Prince.

Her singing voice begged the question: did she leave the Spice Girls or was she pushed?

M Page,

via e-mail

I SUPPOSE the story about the undertaker who was stopped for drink- driving with a coffin in the back of his hearse is no laughing matter.

Still, if I'd been him I would have told the arresting officer: "Well the guy in the back is hardly in a fit state, is he?"

D Fowler,

Berwick-upon-Tweed

I READ with amusement last week's Sunday People story about Camilla Parker Bowles giving up cigarettes because Prince Charles is a passionate anti- smoker.

Well, his passion doesn't stretch very far - otherwise he would cease to employ that other smoking chimney, his assistant Tiggy Legge-Bourke.

That seems like a case of double standards to me.

E Hollishead,

Derby

CERTAIN States in America have adopted a new anti-juvenile crime initiative in which the parents of guilty youngsters are forced to make proper payment towards the cost of damaged property or stolen cash.

Even if the parents receive State benefits they are still obliged to pay - through instalments if necessary. Isn't it time that a similar family values scheme was adopted here?

D McKinlay,

Glasgow

It's chocs away for Josh

EATING is a bit hit or miss when you're eight months old. And little Joshua Yeomans is no exception. He's been hitting the chocolate biscuits big time. A super prize is on its way to Mrs Jean Nunn, who took this great snap of her grandson.

Mrs Nunn, of York, wins a Konika Z-up 110 Super Zoom camera worth pounds 99.99, with a powerful 38-110 zoom lens and a host of useful advanced functions to help you take better photos, PLUS two rolls of colour film.Send YOUR photos to: Prize Picture, Sunday People, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5AP, with your name address and phone number. Sorry, we can't return them - and no professionals, please.
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Brownlee, Nick
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Nov 22, 1998
Words:918
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