Did you hear about the florist who had two children?
One is a budding genius and the other a blooming idiot.
Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?
She was having Disney spells.
What do you do if you split your sides laughing?
Run until you get a stitch.
What do caterpillars do on New Year's Day?
Turn over a new leaf.
Did you hear about the maggot shut up in Tutankhamun's tomb?
It had a phar-oah-ld time.
Where do you find giant snails?
On the end of a giant's fingers.
Waiter! Waiter! There's a maggot in my salad.
Don't worry, he won't live long on that stuff.
Waiter: Would you like your pizza cut into four or eight slices?
Customer: Make it four please. I couldn't eat eight.
Why wasn't the glow worm happy?
Because her children were not very bright.