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You're not funny, Alan, you're a Pain.

Byline: Carole Malone

THE title Alan Davies chose for his first comedy tour in 12 years is Life is Pain. And his certainly will be if he shows his face in Liverpool before people there have calmed down (probably around 2015).

What was this idiot thinking - mocking Liverpool Football Club for refusing to play on the anniversary of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster? Because even if he has no feelings about the 96 people who died he has to accept the people of Liverpool have and their grief must be respected.

But not content at making fun of the club this buffoon, crucified on Twitter for his stupidity, compounded the damage by suggesting that he'd better adopt a disguise - a comedy Scouser in a shell suit, wig and bushy moustache.

I know it's a comedian's job to push the boundaries etc... but 96 people dying in agony can't ever be funny. If Davies has one scrap of sense he'll cancel his gig at the Liverpool Empire on Sept 23. Because if he doesn't one of two things will happen. Either no one will turn up or those who do will feel duty bound to give him a hands-on demonstration of just how Painful Life can be for an insensitive thicko.
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Title Annotation:Features; Opinion, Column
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Apr 15, 2012
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