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Byline: Joan Burnie

I WOULD advise anyone taking on someone else's children to think very, very carefully before doing it.

When I married my husband, he had an adorable moppet of a little girl. She was six and her mum had died so there was no reason for her to resent me.

But from the moment we married, she did all she could to split us up. She lied about me, including telling her dad, when she was a teenager, that she'd seen me with another man.

She just never gave up. When she was 18, she became pregnant and expected me to look after her child while she went on with her life.

Sadly, my husband seemed to think so as well. What really hurts is that we kept putting off having a baby of our own, until my step daughter settled down. That never happened, so here I am looking after her baby.

Name and address supplied

MANY of us will become step-parents but it's not something people talk about very much.

It's not easy loving someone else's kids but you have to remember, it's not easy for them either.

Most children want their parents to stay together and when they don't, they need to blame someone - often the new partner. My husband had two children by his ex and they will admit now that they hated me. I wasn't too fond of them either.

It wasn't easy but I told myself we had one thing in common - their dad.

There was no real turning point, although me having a baby helped, but gradually things calmed down.

Now they're all grown up, we are close and I value them, as well as love them. My advice is step parents must never forget their partner's children were there first.

Rose M., via email
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Mar 23, 2007
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