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Win left me panting for more; BETTING HIGHS.

FREE pants. It is extremely satisfying for a man to get his hands on some free pants. Free Willy was a popular movie about an eccentric whale, which wowed crowds in 1993, and maybe there will soon be a film released called Free Pants to detail my adventures last weekend.

There comes a time in every man's life (several times if he lives to a ripe old age) where he has to refresh his pants collection. And I took on that unenviable task on Saturday afternoon, while racing was in full flow.

I had some inappropriate banter with the girl in Next as I paid for my goods ("I couldn't find the extra extra extra large ones, so I'll have to squeeze into these...") and all was going swimmingly, but the pounds 37 charge (for seven garments) was disappointingly steep.

I marched straight to Coral and decided I would attempt to reclaim my lost pounds 37 on the 2.30pm at Newbury. I had heard good things about Fencing and pounds 17 at 9-4 would do the job.

Sadly, Fencing was the subject of a good (old-fashioned) gamble and I had failed to take the price. I needed to make two further top-up visits to the counter to keep the pounds 37 figure in reach as the favourite was backed into 5-4. Fencing won in the style of a very fast horse and I had never been more thrilled to claim pounds 37. Maybe pants should be made free on the NHS, like stitches and midwives, but I'm going to make Coral pay for mine until David Cameron confirms that policy.

A couple of days later I had my first football bet of the season - pounds 250 on Man City to win to nil against Swansea at 11-10 with Hills.

Ooh, I love having a bookmaker's trousers down. I bet Sergio Aguero doesn't fret about the outrageous price of pants.
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Title Annotation:Sports
Publication:The Racing Post (London, England)
Date:Aug 21, 2011
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