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Wheel her.

Did Oliver Buchmanan milk his knee surgery in order to make a romantic play7 Will the new girlfriend ever admit her complicity in this heartfelt duplicity? Will Rodney Jones be best man?

Now that Variflex has signed alicensing agreement with World Industries, can we expect to see such spin off as World body boards and other Variephemera at such Giant vendors as Awl Mart? Or will such familiar Variflex-produced brand names as SpongeBob SquarePants, Shreck II, Jimmy Neutron and Rocket Power now all become intertwined with World's "core" brand icons like Wet Willy and the ubiquitous Flameboy? The perceived dramatic rollout captivates the industry.

The Mullen Chop Chop wood manufacturing program in China has earned the enmity of some. Jim Gray in particular has led the burgeoning effort to start up the American Skateboard Manufacturers Association. Will boards continue to be made out of wood? Will American trees eclipse Canadian trees as source material? Will the Mutt use Canadian wood, American glue and Asian labor? Will Citizen Gray produce the all-American skate revolution of his dreams?

Competitors may decry Tony Hawk's ever-expanding choices of promotional partners as being sell outs to the mainstream. But who can doubt Hawk's bizarre sense of surreal satire? The B-house Tom Green model, the circus stint in Nashville, performances as a pizza delivery truck driver in Gleaming the Cube, and appearances in Police Academy 4 and The End are all examples to Tony's addiction to mirth and mayhem. Recent moves by the Bird threaten to turn weird as he's managed to physically turn himself into both an icon and a cartoon simultaneously. Tony's guest spot on the landmark Simpsons' 300th episode saw him deliberately dump a contest to Homer. The next anthropomorphic atrocity will be seen on the Jackass spin-off Wildboyz, where Hawk cavorts about Burnquist's loop in a chimp suit. His payoff on this was a cracked pelvis, severe concussion and a lacerated face. And in Walt Disney World there is a six foot tall, 700-pound statue of Tony Hawk's newest team rider Mickey Mouse. The large rodent sports a Birdhouse deck, Hawk helmet and graffiti by the great Birdman. This outsize piece of Mouseskateer pop art will be auctioned off to benefit the Tony Hawk Foundation in 2005.
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Title Annotation:Trash
Publication:Thrasher
Date:Feb 1, 2004
Words:375
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