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What can I do when I want sex more than my boyfriend does?

QI am 36 and have a much higher sex drive than my boyfriend. We have sex three or four times a week but I find it very frustrating when I want to have sex and he doesn't.

I have bought myself a vibrator but it is not the same as the real thing. Is it possible to take any medication which will reduce my sex drive? I would never dream of being unfaithful to him.

AWhen you're in need of help, let your fingers do the work! You may want to ask him if he'd like to watch. Or, better still, persuade him to lend you his fingers on those occasions when he doesn't feel quite up to it.

QI work for a drug company and am offended by your constant attacks on our industry. Animal experiments are an essential part of our testing programme.

AThe drug industry is, together with the arms, cosmetics and tobacco industries, a repository for the cruel, the uncaring and the conscience free. The fact that doctors now do more harm than good is largely a result of the drug industry's malign influence.

The pharmaceutical industry is staffed by people who regard honesty and integrity and compassion as important signs of weakness.

If you honestly believe that animal experiments are of any medical or scientific value whatsoever then your skull must be entirely empty. Drug companies test new products on animals because they know that they can't lose.

If a test shows that an animal is made ill by a drug then the company will ignore the test on the grounds that animals are different to people. If a test shows that an animal can safely take a drug the company will use the result to encourage thousands of doctors to prescribe the drug for millions of patients.

Years later, when experience shows that the drug injures or kills people, the company will feign surprise and then admit that animal tests cannot be safely used to judge what will happen when a drug is taken by human beings.

QI share your dislike of bureaucrats but they seem to be growing - both in numbers and in power. I run a small business which I have built up myself but an apparently unending series of industry regulators and committees of uncertain origin seem determined to tie me up in miles of red tape. What can we do about these people?

ATry not to let yourself be distracted from your goals. It is very difficult to keep your eye on the ball these days because the comfortable seats are full of earnest dickheads in expensive suits (and even more earnest dickheadesses in expensive frocks) trying to distract you with rules and regulations.

Whatever industry you are in, the bureaucrats, regulators and administrators beyond the sidelines take no part in real life - they are merely spectators determined to disrupt the game and assert their own self-importance.

They take no risks, have no original ideas and are protected from all the hazards you and I face. They receive fat index-linked salaries and pensions which you probably pay for.

The only solution is to stay true to your own ideals, to preserve your own passions, to try to retain a sense of humour, to acquire an ability to laugh at their more absurd demands and exhortations and to remember that although your life has purpose and meaning their lives are shallow and empty.

QMy husband and I have tried ordinary sex and oral sex in all the possible variations. Now I am very keen to try other techniques, even though I've heard them described as "forbidden". My husband is keen too - though he is worried that I may find them painful.

AYou may find some sex painful to start with. I think I know what you are talking about. It is illegal in some parts of the world and can be dangerous - even deadly. There is more advice on my special Helpline dealing with forbidden sex on 0839 446 645 (charges as for my other Helplines). This line is not available to minors, the prudish or anyone of a nervous disposition.

QWhen our child was ill recently I had to call our family doctor out. When she saw a copy of The People on a chair she told us that she had lost all respect for us. She said that your articles are dangerous and that you are a troublemaker.

AWhat a rude woman your doctor is. I wonder what she thinks gives her the right to make any sort of judgment about your choice of reading matter?

Since I started writing this column I have received scores and scores of letters like yours. I wonder what any of these doctors would think if a plumber walked into their homes and made some similarly arrogant and patronising comment about the newspaper they buy?

I am delighted that your doctor thinks my articles are dangerous. I care about animals, people and the truth and if campaigning for those three issues means making enemies then I can live with that.

QPlease answer the enclosed list of questions relating to my health. I am enclosing my medical history since 1922.

AI am afraid that (as it has said at the top of this column since I started writing it) I cannot send personal replies. There are two reasons for this. First, it would be dangerous and irresponsible for me to try to offer diagnoses and make treatment suggestions by post.

Second, the amount of mail I receive means that it is physically impossible for me to send replies. I sincerely wish that I could help everyone who writes in. Sadly, however, I cannot.

THE GRAINS OF TRUTH ABOUT OUR PASSION FOR MEAT

Last week I reported that although sensible people in the West avoid meat, the food industry has managed to con millions in the developing world into believing that it is an essential part of a healthy diet.

One result will be that the incidence of meat-related diseases will rocket in countries which used to have a healthy diet of rice, vegetables and fruit.

But other changes will affect our lives too. Half the world's rain forests have been destroyed to clear ground to graze cattle to make beefburgers. And the inevitable result is an even greater worldwide shortages of grains.

The recent surge in grain prices was the direct result of the increase in meat consumption in developing countries.

In Africa and Asia, the middle classes are eating meat today and the poor are unlikely to eat at all tomorrow. This week there are 800 million malnourished people in the world and there is plenty of food to feed them.

But the food industry wastes what is available by turning nutritious, healthy grains and vegetables into profitable meat and meat products.

All this hides another, more sinister danger. In an attempt to keep up with the world's food requirements, scientists and farmers mess around with genes to grow bigger crops. Laboratory-bred crops help boost yields. But there's a risk because new varieties are identical.

This is all very well when everything goes fine. But when a bug comes along which affects one plant, every plant will be affected. The result - global crop wipe-out.

About 150 years ago a fungus caused the Irish potato famine. Today, we are far more vulnerable than the Irish were. One new fungus could cause a worldwide famine. And when that happens the farmers whose crops have been destroyed will demand compensation.

No-one in the food industry will give a damn about the fact that deaths from starvation will rocket as a direct result of their greedy policies.

The long-term future for the world is hunger, growing food shortages and wars as the starving fight for food.

And for this we can thank the farmers and the food industry.

HEALTH MEMO

I have many letters about penises from people who are unaware what to do with them. So here are 20 things you can do with a penis:

1. Direct traffic.

2. Pick out the numbers on a touch phone.

3. Stir tea (as long as the tea is not too hot).

4. Play honky tonk piano.

5. Hammer in nails.

6. Conduct an orchestra.

7. Beat a dirty carpet.

8. Play golf (if your clubs get mislaid).

9. Type a letter.

10. Point out architectural landmarks to foreign exchange students.

11. Give direction indications when riding a bicycle.

12. Mix cocktails - e.g. a screwdriver.

13. Identify yourself in the dark.

14. Plug a hole in a dyke.

15. Use it as a rudder when swimming.

16. Emergency chopstick.

17. Dip in honey and use as fly paper.

18. Overnight cork for wine bottle.

19. Magic wand for hard-up conjurors.

20. Gavel for judge or auctioneer.

P.S. In an emergency, a penis can also be used as fire-fighting hose. On rare occasions it can also be used as a sex aid.

STRANGE

BUT TRUE

There are 350,000 doctors in Italy - one for every 163 inhabitants. Not even the USA (where there is one doctor for every 400 potential patients) has so many doctors. Unemployment is common among Italian doctors.

It's estimated that in 1840 there were 5,000 brothels in London. In the same year there were 2,150 schools, churches and charitable institutions.

Beau Brummell, the 19th Century dandy, spent three hours every day on his toilette. He had three hairdressers, for the front, back and sides.

The condom was invented by a Dr Conton in the 17th Century.

In 1777 a woman was jailed for six months for wearing male clothing and for marrying three different women.

HELP! I'M JUST A GIRL WHO CAN'T SAY NO

Miss J writes: "I spend most of my life doing things I don't really want to do.

"I'm always saying Yes when I really mean to say No. And then I regret it for ages afterwards.

"Take last Thursday, for example. While I was getting ready to go out the telephone rang twice.

"The first time it was a girl I know from work who wanted me to spend a day shopping with her.

"I don't really like her very much and I'm not looking forward to spending a whole day with her. But I agreed.

"When I heard myself saying Yes I wanted to scream and hit myself.

"Then, minutes later, a friend of my brother's rang. He asked me to go out with him to a cricket club dinner. I've been out with him once before and it was a nightmare - he has about 12 hands and I hate being groped.

"The idea of a cricket club dinner - listening to bawdy stories and watching men get drunk - doesn't excite me at all.

"So, why on earth do I keep on saying Yes when I mean No? And how do I stop myself?"

Saying Yes when you really mean No is the easiest thing in the world to do. It avoids embarrassment and guilt and it's something we all do.

No is one of the shortest and one of the most difficult words to say in any language.

But if you don't say No when you really want to say it, you can lead yourself into all sorts of difficult circumstances.

Saying Yes when you really want to say No can lead to all sorts of problems too.

Remember: There is nothing wrong with saying No occasionally.

Remember: Saying No is almost always a sign of strength.

Remember: Having the courage to say No is often a sign of maturity and self-confidence.

When you have difficulty in saying No think of how much more difficult things are likely to become if you say Yes!

THINGS THEY SAY

Guests are like fish - they go off after three days.

- Writer Alan Plater
COPYRIGHT 1996 MGN LTD
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1996 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

 
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Coleman, Vernon
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Jul 28, 1996
Words:1974
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