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What a fine kettle of fish...

Byline: John McKie

HERE'S an original reality show format.

Shove a bunch of deluded fame vampires into a room and chuck one off week-by-week.

Some, like the BBC's reality show on Oliver!, have a Twist.

Take The Apprentice.

Unlike, say, Big Brother, every episode has a feelgood ending - one muppet hears the magic words: "You're fired."

Twelve weeks of product placement for Chrysler Voyagers and bluetooth Blackberries, 12 weeks of Sir A's seat being placed strategically higher than Nick and Margaret's.

And 12 weeks of grown men and women pleading for favours from a man who once signed Richard Gough's pay cheques.

The producers of the 2008 model have outdone themselves in finding plankton who, appropriately enough, couldn't flog fish on Wednesday night.

Wednesday's escape hatch victim Nick De Lacy-Brown (no relation to Scott), a man who's a top hat away from being Lord Snooty and a straw boater away from being in the same student club as David Cameron.

Kevin Shaw, who has never been seen in the same room as Stirling Albion's Mark McNally.

Roger Federer's evil twin Raef Bjayou, who boasts: "The spoken word is my tool." In terms of tools, this man knows of what he speaks.

And part-time regional football reporter Ian Stringer: "There are two types of people. Winners and... I can't even say it."

Winners and... people who cover Wycombe Wanderers for BBC Three Counties Radio.


LOOKALIKES: Kevin and Mark
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Mar 29, 2008
Next Article:Making a meal of it.

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