Watch out girls-the lady is still a tramp, while the cad is celebrated.
An advert for 'tramp cards' caught my eye in the Metro the other day. What a lovely idea for readers to sit on their respective transports into work and pore over a selection of women - from Danielle Lloyd to Nicole Richie - and compare their various woes with a series of collectable cards. Each woman is rated under such delightful categories as knickers (Nicole Richie gets the comment 'only when they stay up'), issues (for Lindsay Lohan that means 'AA meetings and wrist scars') or sex videos (Jordan's is 'easy to find on Google').
I can see it in the playground now.
Adorable organic kids playing while their yummy mummies talk about making jam and Ashram yoga for babies with the teachers.
'Legolas, let's play tramp cards.
'Yippee. I'll start. My girl has no knickers.
'Drat, mine wears them on Thanksgiving, but she's released a sex tape. I win.'
Now, none of these girls are perfect but it's amazing how their misdemeanours have merited the production of collectable cards with specially marked sections to highlight every flaw, while men get double-page spreads praising their prowess. If you don't believe me, one Sunday tabloid had two pages filled with Joe Francis telling all about his conquests ranging from Paris Hilton to La Lohan and Kimberley Stewart.
For those not au fait with Francis, he made his money out of getting drunk girls to take their tops off and pose excitedly as he filmed it - he called the series Girls Gone Wild. Hmmm, drunk girls are persuaded to strip - it's hardly inventing the wheel. So there he is boasting about certain women's ability in the bedroom and rating them against each other and he is just called a 'lucky playboy'.
It's the age old discrepancy that is more tiresome than the size 0 debate (eat or don't eat - just stop talking about it all), but there seems to be no way for women to shake off that ol' slag tag.
It's playing out at the moment in the story about Ralph Fiennes supposedly joining the Mile High Club with a stewardess while travelling to India. Ironically, he was on his way to promote safe sex and HIV awareness for Unicef. Insert your own joke here, but maybe it doesn't count as sex if you're airborne. The stewardess is denying it, claiming ol' Ralphie made advances to her in the toilet which she rejected, but nevertheless she has been made to stand down and faces the sack for whatever happened.
As a former police officer, her career and reputation could be in tatters depending on the outcome of her work inquiry. But what of Ralph? He's staying quiet at the moment, but given that his string of public affairs in the past hasn't tarnished his appeal as a English gent and leading man, this isn't really going to change anything. Someone do him a tramp card, to at least add some variety to the game.