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Byline: George Galloway

I'M sorry to say this about my former parliamentary assistant (she wasn't even a member of my family) but wee Wendy Alexander looks like a number which is up now the dread procurator fiscal is looking into her conduct.

And all for a contest that never was, running against herself alone for the pitcher of warm spit that is the leadership of Scottish New Labour.

Wendy still managed to mess it up.

I told you from the start that though she had a brain the size of Hampden Park, she was so otherworldly that she thought pay-as-you-go mobile phones required coins inserted in them to make them work.

"Doctor" John Reid, my other former researcher, is nowadays to be found in the Westminster tea-rooms like a prize-fighter run to seed, which in a way is what he is.

He sits regaling young lovelies a third of his age with his tales of derringdo and of his decade of struggle to kill the thing he loved - the cause of Labour.

He will, at least, remember (though he'll have forgotten how strongly he supported him) the words of the Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh, which I need to paraphrase slightly.

"If you stand by the banks of the river long enough, the bodies of all your former researchers float by."

'All for a contest that never was'


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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Feb 4, 2008
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