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WATCH-O-RAMA THIS WEEK ON TV.

Byline: David Kronke

OTHERWORLDLY

``The Dead Zone''

(USA; 10 tonight)

What: Psychic Johnny Smith (Anthony Michael Hall) looks for a guy who not only kidnaps women but apparently has swiped Detroit Piston Richard Hamilton's clear face-mask.

In a nutshell: A previous abductee also has issues with the kidnapper, and might reach him before Johnny, who you think should've ``seen'' that gun butt coming at the back of his head. Later this season, he'll have to stave off Armageddon, an increasingly popular TV pastime these days.

FAMILY AFFAIRS

``Wildfire''

(ABC Family; 8 p.m. Monday)

What: 18-year-old Kris (Genevieve Cortese) leaves a juvie detention center for a glamorous life training horses on a family ranch populated by young studs - no, not that kind.

In a nutshell: Predictably generic; strictly for 'tween girls who moon over horses.

``Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life''

(Lifetime; 9 p.m. Monday)

What: Kelly Lynch plays a mom whose family comes undone when her teen son becomes addicted to Internet porn.

In a nutshell: Not as histrionic as ``Reefer Madness'' but that might've made it a bit entertaining. Pretty ham-fisted - it takes the young simp about five minutes gazing at demurely draped digital babes before he's hopelessly hooked. Hasn't he seen Paris Hilton's burger commercial?

HITTING THE HEIGHTS

``Himalaya With Michael Palin''

(Travel Channel; 9 p.m. Monday)

What: Another intrepid trek with the former Python touring the mountain range, journeying from the Middle East to southwest China.

In a nutshell: Tonight's installment (the first of five) offers the typical combination of exotic scenic beauty and Palin's fascinating and good-natured glimpses at the local cultures. He cheats a little and takes a helicopter to near the mountain's peak, and takes in Pakistani bull races (fatalities are common) and black-market gun stores (fatalities less common, believe it or not).

DO YOU REALLY?

``I Want to Be a Hilton''

(NBC Channel 4; 9 p.m. Tuesday)

What: Paris' mother, Kathy, horns in on the reality craze and hosts this competition show in which 14 hicks - specially selected for their easily mockable lower-class manners - vie for a year's lifestyle change and $200,000. Or, roughly, a weekend shopping spree for Paris.

In a nutshell: Ostensibly wry (a snooty narrator isn't as amusing as he thinks, nor are the goofy sound effects). A casually cynical celebration of all that is shallow in this world, complete with snooty narration. But it never answers the key question: Why would these people want to exist in a world that so obviously sneers at them? And the rift between the red and blue states grows wider ... .

GOOD DATE, BAD DATE

``The Girl in the Cafe''

(HBO; 8 p.m. Saturday; also June 28, July 3 and 7)

What: A romantic comedy about, oh, you know, the usual- finding love and ending global poverty during a G8 Summit Meeting. Bill Nighy and Kelly Macdonald star in a film scripted by Richard Curtis (``Four Weddings and a Funeral,'' ``Love Actually'') and directed by David Yates (the upcoming ``Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix'').

In a nutshell: Nighy and Macdonald give exquisitely droll and sensitive performances as lonely, timid souls in this beautifully understated yet impassioned, delicately funny yet assertively outraged morality play. With ``Deadwood'' gone and ``The Sopranos'' gone until next year, this is what'll justify your HBO bill this month.

`Nadine in Dateland''

(Oxygen; 8 p.m. Saturday)

What: Janeane Garofalo stars as a Venice Beach matchmaker who - all together now - can't seem to resolve her own romantic woes.

In a nutshell: Ever heard Garofalo's Air America show? She can rip into a 15-minute screed at the drop of the hat. Just imagine sitting through that on a date! And that isn't any worse than how she acts in this film, showing very little insight into how human beings actually behave or how humor works.

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1) ``THE DEAD ZONE''

(2) ``I Want to Be a Hilton''

(3) ``WILDFIRE''
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Publication:Daily News (Los Angeles, CA)
Date:Jun 19, 2005
Words:659
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