Vindictive ex wants to get his revenge; dear coleen.
I dumped my boyfriend a few months ago - after two years the relationship had just run its course as far as I was concerned and I didn't love him any more. I'm 28 and he's 32.
He took it really badly and at first he wouldn't believe that it was really over. He kept calling me to try to meet up or to "talk about things", so I started to ignore him.
He also began 'stalking' me on Facebook and Twitter so in the end I had to defriend and block him. I never realised when we were dating that he was capable of behaving like this - it's so immature for someone of 32.
I'd hoped we could stay mates as we have lots of friends in common, but I just don't think it's possible.
Now he's going out with one of my best mates and he takes every opportunity to parade their fake romance in front of my face. I don't y blame her - he's very good looking and I'm sure he used all his charm on her to persuade her that I'd be OK with it. I don't care who he dates, but I know he's just using her to get back at me.
Why is he being vindictive and what can I do about it?
Look, he's showing himself up. I know it's L hard not to react, but I think you have to do nothing.
Don't rise to it - he wants to make you jealous. Let him get on with it and once he finally realises it is really over between the two of you and there's no going back, he'll leave you alone.
He's trying to annoy you with this relationship, so don't show him that you're irritated by it. Kill them with kindness - just say, 'I'm really happy for you both!' But if you react angrily, he'll assume you still fancy him and that his cunning plan has actually worked.
You're right, he's being incredibly immature. But however annoying it gets, don't sink to his level.
Be honest and make sure you're not enjoying it just a little bit - it's good for the ego when someone is obsessed with you and is jumping through hoops to get your attention.
Don't give him any signs now that you're interested at all.