Um, hello? Your best friend is rubber-cemented to her new boy, and she seems to have forgotten you exist. Presenting: GL's Official How-to-Keep-the-Sisterhood Kit.
Ears wide open
Be prepared to talk about him, or at least hear about him--a lot. Remember that your friend is really stoked about having a guy, so brace yourself for "Ohmigod! Isn't he the cutest thing ever?" exclamations. We promise: This will pass. The nicest thing you can do for her in the early stages of her newfound GF/BF status is ask about him. (Yep, you read right.) That will at least turn what might feel like endless fawning into a two-way conversation. Bear with her for now.
It's a date
Make a standing date ... with her. Next time you two hang out, suggest making it a weekly thing. Set aside a regular time--maybe a Saturday matinee or after-school coffee-shop stop--and promise to never, ever break those plans. Keeping the commitment should be easy once you make it routine.
Opportunity is knocking
Your best friend is clearly obsessing right now, and that's not so unusual in the first phase of a relationship. After a few weeks, though, things should ease up and she'll be back on planet Earth. Just wait it out. Meanwhile, look at the sitch as a perfect opp to widen your social circle. Been wanting to hang out with that new girl from chem? Invite her for a mall trip this weekend. When your BFF touches ground again, you might have a few great new gals to introduce.
Three's a crowd
Get all those new friends of yours together, and do the group thing. Invite a few boys to join you for Friday night's football game, and ask your BFF and her BF to tag along. In fact, why not ask him to bring some of his buds to the big game? Get to know the guy (and his friends, of course) in group mode, and you'll probably discover some of those redeeming qualities that your friend finds so dreamy.
Pipe up, pal
OK, if it's been months and you're having a hard time remembering what your best friend looks like, it's time to talk. Let her know how you feel. Tell her how much you miss hanging out with her and how important she is to you. Resist the urge to tell her that his presence is ruining the friendship. The last thing you want is to lay a guilt trip on her or have her feel obligated to spend time with you. Just keep reminding yourself that she's not ignoring you on purpose--she's probably oblivious, which is why the chat needs to happen.
This is key in the discussion: Gush about how happy you are for her new romance, and let her know you truly are glad that things are working out for her and her guy. But then be sure she gets that you just want to sack out in your jammies and lip-synch to American Idol once in a blue moon, like you two used to do. It may seem like it's all him all the time, but hang in there because you might be the one all boy-obsessed one day. Show her how an understanding, caring friend acts so she can do the same for you when the time comes that you go ga-ga for some guy!
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|Date:||Aug 1, 2005|
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