Ulster Man of the People: BUCK HOUSE BASH NO GLASTONBURY.
AH come on now, be honest.
It wasn't really a rock concert.
They said it would be the real thing with the likes of Ozzy Osbourne and Bryan Adams playing their hits.
And of course The Corrs playing a dreary Beatles tune (they're all dreary).
But the bash at Buck House was no Glastonbury.
There were no condoms found in the bushes
There were no naked couples covered in mud found under the stage
There wasn't a single Portaloo tipped over when someone was in it
No one was selling three-year-old lukewarm Scotch eggs for a fiver each. Six, with salt
No one sold Disprins after rubbing the logo off and calling them E-tabs
Prince William was not spotted downing Tequila
And at no stage did the host go on stage bare-breasted and tell everyone to 'turn on, tune in and drop out'.
All that went on was a few has-beens sang a few tunes, everyone politely clapped, stayed in their seat, sang God Save the Queen and went home sober.
More like a night at Willie McCrea's than a rock concert.
But rock concert or not, last weekend did blast out one unmistakable message.
The UK is a long, long way from getting shot of its Monarchy.
PROOF: Monarchy alive and well