Trump and Kim to have second date.. it must be love!
Byline: DES CLARKE Listen to Des weekdays on the Capital FM breakfast show
GROUNDHOG Day. Theresa May is still trying to sort out Brexit and somehow find a way to please Jacob Rees-Mogg.
I'd recommend dressing as his nanny and spanking him while he's in a romper suit.
It's not much better over in Trumpland. The White House has confirmed that the US president is to meet North Korean leader Kim Jong-un for a second summit by the end of February.
It's the second leg of "The World's Maddest Crackpot Political Leader" contest. Or Tinder's weirdest Valentine's date ever.
This comes as Christian Bale picked up an Oscar nomination for his role as former US politician Dick Cheney in Vice. To people in the US, vice is short for vice president. To Donald Trump, it's not short for anything. It's just his hobby.
Elsewhere in awards season, Paul O'Grady has been celebrating after his show For the Love of Dogs picked up the Factual Entertainment Programme gong at the National Television Awards. It's a profitable show for ITV. O'Grady provides the dogs, and the dogs provide the kack they make The Jeremy Kyle Show from.
Which brings us back to that other pile of keek. Friends of the Earth claim certain nature sites could be at risk if there's a no-deal Brexit. Aye, 2019 has officially peaked. Turns out even the birds have to apply for a visa now.
? RUSSELL Brand has admitted never spending 24 hours looking after his two small children on his own as it would be incompatible with his "romantic, reflective, religious world view". It's a shame as he'd be really good at keeping his kids entertained. What with his amazing ability to speak out of his backside.
DADDY ISSUES Brand