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Troubletown: life in post-science America.

"EMPERICAL DATA" IS ONE OF THE DEVIL'S FAVORITE PLAYTHINGS.

THAT EXPLAINS MY GRADES!

PROFESSORS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO PRESENT THE THEORY OF GRAVITY AS FACT.

LET'S HEAR BOTH SIDES.

BREAD IS LITERALLY JESUS'S BODY; "BAKERIES" ARE A GIANT HOAX.

Hostess Is An ILLUSION

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GERMS.

"BACTERIA" IS A SECULAR ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN AWAY EVIL.

THE FEDERAL JUDICIARY IS THE ARMY OF THE ANTI-CHRIST.

WHEN THEY DISAGREE WITH TOM DELAY.

MEL GIBSON WAS SENT BY GOD; LETHAL WEAPON IV CONTAINS BIBLICAL MEANING.

AND SMITH THEM I WILL!

MANY FEMALE LEGISLATORS ARE WITCHES.

THE CALIFORNIA ONES FLOAT ON WATER!

GLOBAL WARMING IS SIMPLY A SIGN THAT GOD IS RESPONDING TO PRAYERS.

GODDAMN IT'S COLD!

CONDOMS ACTUALLY HELP THE AIDS VIRUS BY GIVING IT A LITTLE BOUNCE.

SPROING!

SEX EDUCATION SHOULD GIVE EQUAL TIME TO THE POSSIBILITY OF VIRGIN BIRTH.

IT COULD HAPPEN AGAIN.

GEOMETRY IS JUST SATAN'S WAY TO GET CHILDREN TO DRAWN HIS SYMBOLS.

WHENEVER A PALEONTOLOGIST "DISCOVERS A FOSSIL" GOD GETS A CHUCKLE.

FALSE!

FEDERAL JUDGES SHOULD CONSULT JACK CHICK TRACTS BEFORE RULING ON ANY ISSUE.

A SQUIRT OF PAT ROBERTSON'S HAIR TONIC CAN CURE CANCER

IMAX THEATERS ARE THE SATAN DOMES PROPHESIED IN THE BIBLE.

FLOWERS ARE POLLINATED BY ANGEL FAIRIES, NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE BEES.

ME AND A DIRTY BUG?

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
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Article Details
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Author:Dangle, Lloyd
Publication:The Progressive
Date:Jun 1, 2005
Words:218
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