Trouble at the double; Out of the box.
These were the wannabes who didn't pass the audition for Stars In Their Eyes.
Marilyn Monroe lookalike Pauline Bailey has a cleavage you could easily lose credit cards in.
She complained that she gets stared at in supermarkets - but that doesn't stop her from showing off her ample curves.
Former builder's labourer Pete Edwards makes his living by impersonating Yul Brynner.
Hitching up his holster, Pete said: "When I'm Yul, I'm not in Basildon."
One-time car mechanic Jimmy Jemain tours as Cliff Richard and his wife said she's the only woman who knows what it feels like to be married to Cliff.
Andrew Oliver thinks he's Elton John - but, with a tea-cosy on my head I'd make a better lookalike.
At the end, chrome-dome and the Cliff clone joined the others for Candle In The Wind, Elt's song for Marilyn.
THERE was a bit of a cock-up on the sequel front when BBC decided to do The Legacy Of Reginald Perrin (BBC1).
Out of loyalty to the original, I've stuck with it for a month. But it just doesn't work. Every five minutes I expect - or maybe hope - that a big, red jelly will wobble down the street and out will pop dear, departed Reggie.
It's been nice to see what's become of the rest of the cast - Jimmy's a bit jowlier, Tom's a bit greyer.
But they all just sit around like some heritage group, spouting half- remembered catchphrases at each other.
Jimmy will mutter "Tricky wallah, leadership" and David will venture the occasional "Super."
Then CJ will wind up for a real biggie like "I believe in striking while the bird in the hand is hot - and I didn't get where I am today by not striking while the bird in the hand is hot."
First time round, these quips were funny, familiar and reassuring.
But without Reggie, they don't add up to very much.
HOLBY City Hospital, home of Casualty (BBC1), seems to lose key personnel faster than the Tory Government.
But no matter how many established stars quit the show, it still maintains the same high standard.
Just when you think the scriptwriters have exhausted all the storyline possibilities, they come up with a new angle on a chemical waste catastrophe.
In Casualty, the sum is greater than the parts. It's a miracle of resourcefulness which doesn't always get the credit it deserves - just like the NHS.