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Top Gear nick-nicked Jim Davidson's gags.

Byline: John McKie

TOP GEAR - the best argument against the motor car since global warming.

The six-eyed English idiots on BBC2's motoring show excelled themselves again last week.

They've already had a go at the French and Germans for being "mad", Gordon Brown for being Scottish and Scouse comedian John Bishop for being a carjacker.

No one should be too offended - except Jim Davidson, who might ask why his 1970s material is being nicked in the 21st century.

On Sunday, Albania got it in the neck for being overrun by Mafia hoods and Mercs.

Before that, it was Mexico. James May criticised their food and Richard Hammond criticised their cars.

The typically oafish Clarkson poured Castrol GTX on the fire by insisting the Mexican ambassador wouldn't complain because he'd be asleep in front of the TV.

If he is falling asleep in front of Top Gear, that's not his fault, Jeremy. It's yours.

Top Gear, which is screened in Mexico, is now regarded there with the same affection reserved for the smallpox the Spanish brought over in the 1500s.

Jaguars have been laid on for Clarkson, May and Top Gear's very own small pox, Hammond, for their next trip to Mexico City. Their claws are just being sharpened.

There is a report the Mexican mafia are preparing a special Mayan end-of-the-world calendar for May, Clarkson and the so-called Hamster. It starts in 2011 instead of 2012.

If Richard Hammond says on a future Top Gear, "Tonight, we're road-testing these Mexican dragsters", he might want a thorough MoT done first.

The BBC made matters worse with an apology on behalf of Top Gear which categorised the Italians as disorganised, the French as arrogant and the Germans as being overorganised.

It went on to describe the presenters' gags as "edgy jibes'. About as edgy as men with mid-life crisis haircuts, ironed jeans and the dress sense of David Essex on a trip to the garden centre can be.

It's hardly a shock The Stig won't show his face in public with them.

It would be hypocritical for anyone who has sniggered under their breath at the appropriately named Brazilian footballer Rafael Scheidt, German skiers Andreas Wank and Fanny Chmelar and Delhi's Commonwealth Games administrator Sheila Dikshit to say Brits shouldn't laugh at foreigners.

Any comment that Clarkson and co have "gone too far" will just legitimise them and make them giggle at each other's jokes more.

Clarkson is entitled to crack tired gags about other countries - there are 100 daft enough to screen grew 70s/ Top Gear, for instance. But it's time he got back to doing what he does best.

In 2004, he punched Piers Morgan.

THE Queen has seen The King's Speech, a film in which she features as George VI's daughter.

She is said not to have seen The Queen. No word on whether Princess Anne has seen Seabiscuit.


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Title Annotation:Editorial; Opinion, Columns
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Feb 8, 2011
Previous Article:Fergie's Old Firm ordeal.

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