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Too much, too soon. (Life).

My dad treats me like a 20-year-old, and I'm only 13. He gives me more responsibilities than my 15-year-old sister has, and it's more than I can handle! He won't listen when I try to tell him. What should I do?

Your dad probably gives you so many responsibilities because he believes you're capable of handling them, not because he's mean or favors your older sister. Your dad is showing that he knows you're organized and on top of your game, and you probably are. But it sounds like he has miscalculated your workload. While taking on responsibilities is part of maturing, you shouldn't feel bogged down. If you've already talked with him, try writing him a letter. Explain that you're not trying to ditch your chores, but that you're overwhelmed. Ask if you can work together to make a list of responsibilities you feel comfortable taking on and maybe cut some that aren't as important. This way, your dad will know you're not trying to bail altogether--you just want enough time to do everything right without getting stressed out.

Why do guys only Like really skinny girls? Boys treat me like I am inferior just because I am a little bit bigger than a few of my friends. It really gets me down. Can you explain why guys don't focus on girls' feelings? It would help clear a few things up.

Guys are a few steps behind girls when it comes to maturity level. Notice how boys continue to act like they're in third grade even after they've hit middle school? This is a common pattern, and it explains a lot. Immature guys tend not to recognize that girls of all shapes can be attractive, funny and interesting. The boys you know seem particularly immature for treating you like you're inferior. Unfortunately, not all boys learn early on to focus on the important things, like girls' personalities. We just have to wait for them to get there--and most of them will, someday. In the meantime, when you feel down, remind yourself of all the wonderful things about you. When these boys do grow up, they'll realize how silly they were for not recognizing your incredible attributes earlier.

My friend has been giving me the silent treatment When I asked her about it, she shrugged it off. Then, I got an e-mail from her saying she hates my guts. She was my BFF, and I am shocked! How do I deal?

Sounds like you have no idea what prompted this sudden icy shift. It's natural to get annoyed with a friend once in a while, but saying you hate someone s guts is severe and warrants an explanation. At the very least, your friend owes it to you to tell you why she's saying such hurtful things. Perhaps you unknowingly did something to offend her. E-mail her and ask her to explain, telling her that if you did something to upset her you would like a chance to work things out. If she was your BFF, she should care enough to at least talk it over. That said, even though you deserve an explanation, you might not get one. Your friend could be going through a weird phase or blaming you for something that's not your fault, and that could leave you feeling frustrated. You might have to walk away for now, knowing you did everything in your power to get the friendship back on track.

I'm going to a new camp this summer, and I'm worried. Lately, I find it hard to strike up convos and make new friends. I feel really stupid and uncomfortable. Any suggestions?

Everyone gets in a social rut every now and then. If you're shy or feeling out of sorts, it can be hard to make conversations with people you don't know well. Try to squash those nerves and be the friendly, outgoing girl that is somewhere inside you. When you can't figure out what to say to someone, look for things you might have in common with her, like that John Mayer song she keeps humming, the animal rights button on her backpack or those cool patches she has sewn on the back pockets of her shorts. Starting with something trivial or doling out a sincere compliment can often get a conversation rolling.

Got a question for Lucky? Send it to Ask Lucky, c/o Girls' Life, 4517 Harford Roed, Baltimore, MD 21214, or e-mail it to questions@girlslife.com.
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Title Annotation:advice for adolescent girls
Author:Sandler, Laura
Publication:Girls' Life
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Jun 1, 2003
Words:747
Previous Article:Is less really more? (Guys).
Next Article:Stuck in the middle. (Life).
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