This is a shotgun wedding, I predict it will end in divorce.
STICK a rose entwined arch behind David Cameron and Nick Clegg and it might've been a civil partnership.
The worst of friends put on a ridiculous lovey-dovey show in the Downing Street garden to exchange political vows.
David gazed adoringly at Nick when the Lib Dem spoke, Nick longingly at David when it was his turn. It was all "Nick and I" and "David", behind the His 'n' His podiums, the only permitted disagreement was their ties.
The Prime Minister remembered to wear Tory blue, the Deputy PM Lib Dem gold. Otherwise Nick Cameron and Dave Clegg, or whatever they're called, postured as political clones. Nurse! Pass the sick bag.
If a couple of wealthy, fortysomething private schoolboys spinning like tops is the promised "new type of politics" give me the honest division of the old.
Cameron's having a laugh in wanting us to believe he's yearned to hop into bed with Clegg-over. That somehow he went to bed a tribal Tory and woke up a Lib Dem hugger.
Because this cobbled together coalition is a shotgun marriage, pretty desperate politics.
A former girlfriend of Cameron told me he's wanted to be PM since he was at Eton. Behind the hype is a squalid power-sharing deal based more on ambition than principle.
Cameron blew the election so he agreed to share power as the only guarantee of grabbing the No 10 flat. On polling day, last Thursday, Cameron drew up a Conservative Cabinet. The list sent to Whitehall didn't include Lib Dems who were the hated enemies.
Cameron put a ring on Clegg's finger when the electorate rebuffed Tory advances.
Tory William Hague revealed on Monday the plan was a loose Lib-Con pact on voting in the Commons. Until Gordon Brown's wooing of the Lib Dems forced the Cons to offer a Cabinet dowry.
The Treaty of Downing The Treaty of Downing Street released yesterday itemised fundamental issues they agreed to disagree over such as Trident.
On other areas, including Europe, the seven-page document was deliberately bland. The Lib Dems waved the white handkerchief on immigration.
Unforgivably Clegg is swallowing Cameron's pounds 6billion cuts - spending cuts which could choke recovery.
Last week Clegg argued passionately that the cuts were ludicrous, absolute madness.
This week he's signed up to swing the axe this year. Where's the sense or principle in that? There isn't any.
The Cameron-Clegg double act is interesting, the first coalition for 70 years.
But please spare us the theatricals. This is a marriage of convenience, a shotgun marriage and mark my words - it'll end in divorce.