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There's no bouncing back to my youth with this creaky old body.

The biggest problem with being perpetually young at heart is that my body didn't get the memo.

While mid-forties is still nearer spring chicken than old bird in a world of frivolous farmyard analogies, there's no denying that things are heading in the wrong direction.

Never was this inevitable decline more apparent than on my recent trip to Pfaffenhoffen (best named town in Germany) to stay with my lifelong pal Angela and her family with our childhood mates Denise, Rhona and Debbie.

We try to go once a year to put the world to rights, reminisce about playing kick the can in the long balmy summers of our youth and sit in our pyjamas drinking more fizz than medical professionals would recommend.

Every year we take the train to Munich for the day where Angela has a surprise planned. Once year we ended up dancing on wooden tables at a Bavarian Oompah band night, last year we visited the Olympic Village and enjoyed the panoramic view of the city and beyond from the top of the Olympic Tower.

This year we were told to wear comfy clothes. I'm annoying when it comes to surprises and like to work things out beforehand like Miss Marple. When we arrived in Munich we were ushered straight on the S-bahn, meaning our destination was a little further out of the city centre. After relentless pestering she gave us more hints. We might get sweaty, it is indoors and it will be hi-energy fun.

Angela is high up in BMW so I thought we were going to their museum or a fancy indoor track to test new cars. When we reached out station, we were chaperoned into a cafe as we were too early for our 'slot'. Over coffee and cakes we began discussing fun days out. 'As long as it is NOT one of those big trampoline parks I'll be fine,' I laughed, as her face froze.

My long-term knee injury has been playing up for weeks and I was heavily strapped and limping. Rhona joined in, ' I tore my ankle ligaments the last time I was at one so I'm banned too'. Debbie added, 'I fell off a bike on an empty road in Millport, I'm a disaster zone so I'd never go to one of those parks'.

I'm sure you all know what's coming. We were at Munich's biggest indoor trampoline park and it looked amazing. My heart sank as I realised I couldn't take part. Angela, seeing the geriatric state of her visitors, quickly jiggled plans and took us to a beer garden instead.

Here, we lamented on our increasing frailties over lunch. While we're not at the hot flush stage yet, being scatty has kicked in with us all, we all admitted to frequently walking into rooms and forgetting why we were there. I recently put my TV remote in the fridge with no recollection of doing so.

I'm also finding my feet are a lot further away from my hands when putting on socks. Time for yoga.

The rest of our trip was a hoot. My friends thought it was hilarious when I ended up with sweet and sour chicken on spaghetti from the local takeaway when we'd hit our curry-worst wall.

How was I meant to know 'noodles' in German means pasta. Spending quality time with my oldest friends (no pun intended) is great for the soul. Life will always be full of ups and downs - even if you are too creaky for trampoline parks.

While we're not at the hot flush stage yet, being scatty has kicked in. I recently put my TV remote in the fridge ''

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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland)
Geographic Code:4EUGE
Date:May 6, 2018
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