There'd be no messing with Rosa around.
SCIENTISTS say beer was discovered more than 10,000 years ago when a Mesopotamian farmer had a drink of water in which bread had been sitting and had accidentally fermented.
'Whey, hey!' he said. That's just the job for a Saturday night knees up without having to fork out for Prosecco.
Unfortunately, Brits still haven't got the hang of how to enjoy beer, wine, spirits or even Prosecco in a sensible way.
The usual pictures of drunk and incapable young people filled newspaper pages over New Year and drunk tanks were tried for the first time.
Other nations have, over the years, been appalled at the behaviour of blokes on tour, for stag night or football tournaments, who cannot regulate their intake and end up fighting or laying in a gutter wrapped in the national flag.
I've had my share of beer over the years but have little sympathy for those who drink to excess and expect others to pick up the pieces and take them to hospital for a stomach pump at a time when the NHS is on its knees.
I'm also appalled at the risk young women take by drinking to oblivion.
Drunk tanks have been used for decades in Russia and are ready and waiting for the fans attending this year's World Cup.
Hopefully each will be staffed by a graduate of the Rosa Klebb Finishing School with points in her shoes to ensure her patients behave themselves.
"You will behave or sent to Siberia!" Who would dare disobey the iconic Bond villain? Perhaps we should have drunk tanks for the weekend in every town and city, make those deposited in them pay for the privilege, and have them manned by regiments of Rosa Klebbs as an added incentive to be socially responsible in future.
That would work.