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The very model of the modern laboratory tests!

There's albumin and globulin and aspartate transaminase, and 5' nucleotidase, gamma glutamyl transpeptidase and lactate dehydrogenase, and alanine transaminases. Phlebotomists, technologists will draw your blood in any case!

And if you are presenting with neurosis of the oddest kind, your docs should check your liver for cirrhosis of the modest kind and look for abnormalities in apolipoprotein and in alpha-fetoprotein and N-terminal procollagen.

They'll check your blood glutamic-oxaloacetic enzymes, too, and protease inhibitor and ceruloplasmin, bilirubin, hepatitis A or B or C or D, or all the rest? Add PCR and EIA to standard liver function tests.

Now if you travel tropically or dine out at a festival, presenting with a problem that is stomach or intestinal, wear latex gloves and wash your hands. (And make sure that you keep your cool when bringing to your doctor a good sample of your morning stool.)

They'll check you out for vibrio, clostridium, giardia, shigellosis, salmonella (all this stuff is hard on 'ya), lest toxic aeromonas doesn't bring on mild hysteria, E. coli O157:H7, and listeria!

And if you're not infected with an organism microsopic (sorry for my singing of these odious intestine topics), consider all the ova or the larvae or a full-fledged worm! Pinworms, roundworms, ringworms, hookworms, nemotodes have come to term.

As alternate to IgA and IgE activity, electrodermal screening finds phenolic sensitivities. For all who know that illness may be caused by many kinds of pests, these are the very model of the modern laboratory tests!

In case you need help with the tune: Pirates of Penzance--Modern Major General


Liver Function Tests

Stool and Parasite Analysis

Food Allergy Screening

Marjorie Roswell is a web developer for Community IT Innovators (

Marjorie Roswell

3443 Guilford Terrace

Baltimore, Maryland 21218 USA


A column devoted to informative integrative health resources on the Internet

by Marjorie Roswell
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Title Annotation:Web Page Potpourri
Author:Roswell, Marjorie
Publication:Townsend Letter
Date:Jan 1, 2008
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