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The same answer to the same ol' question.

The question is, What were they thinking? And when it comes to petty crooks, the usual answer is, "They weren't."

Two low-level street thugs in Houston thought they'd hit the lottery when they broke into a truck and came away with an expensive Apple MacBook Pro, an iPad and the grand prize--$5,000 in crisp $100 bills. Of course, they had to celebrate and brag about their big score, so they immediately went to a nearby Burger King, ordered their favorite goodies and began taking photos and even a video--of themselves and their loot. They knew just enough about high-tech to do this, but they didn't know enough about what high-tech can do.

Shortly after discovering he'd been ripped off, the victim found all 17 photos had been automatically uploaded to his iCloud account. The background told him it was a Burger King, and even where it was. You can almost fill in the blanks on the rest, can't you? Surveillance cameras at the Burger King produced more excellent images of both thieves, and even determined they were regular customers there. And that's before these clowns were dumb enough to post the video on a social media account.

In the video, Suspect No. 1 waves a stack of $100 bills and smiling, announces "Hello, America! This is what we get from a good night's hustle!" He then conveniently introduces his partner in crime, who is also happy to pose for posterity--and for the police.

Congrats on your big score, boys! And thanks for putting the prosecution's case together for them! We need more crooks just like ya!

Somehow I'm Not Surprised To See Him Again

Do you remember Benjamin Siegel, the owner of Ben Siegel Reptiles in Deerfield Beach, Fla.? Back in 2012 we wrote up his shop after he held a live cockroach-eating contest, offering a python as a prize. The winner, a 62-year-old man who either really, really wanted a pet python, or, just really hungered for the fame and glory of being a champion cockroach-gobbler, blew away the competition, quickly devouring dozens of the crunchy little critters. He then smiled, took a bow--and dropped dead. An autopsy revealed he had choked to death, his airway plugged with poorly-masticated cockroach parts. Well, now, Ben himself is in the news, having been arrested for assault with a bearded dragon.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe such a conservative fellow could do such a thing, but he is charged with slapping his employees with a live bearded dragon lizard. Surveillance camera footage shows Ben dousing his clerks with Gatorade, tossing the lizard into the air, jamming it into his own mouth, grabbing it and swinging it like a pinwheel, then thrashing his workers with it. Ben's charges include battery --on the humans--and cruelty to the lizard. He may come out of this with a fine, some jail time, and possibly, a court order forbidding him from coming within 100 feet of a lizard or other sorta club-shaped animal. His only recourse may be to run for Congress - maybe with a python in his mouth, and offering free cockroaches.

Now A Volley Of Baked Beans, Kid!

If you're in a school classroom and you see a stack of canned goods, it might not be for a food drive for the homeless or something --it might be their weapons stockpile.

This trend, now replicated at countless other schools, began at W.F. Burns Middle School in eastern Alabama. Principal Priscilla Holley and the Chambers County Schools Superintendent Kelli Hodge developed the program after going through some training on school shootings put on by Auburn University's public safety department. The premise is that canned goods hurled by students and teachers could be a "last line of defense" against an aggressor, possibly stunning an intruder or even knocking him out. That theory has drawn a lot of derisive hoots and dismissive snivels, but, having been bonked on the gourd by a coupla' cans of veggies while trying to settle a domestic disturbance, I can assure you--a high-speed 15-ounce can of garbanzo beans can ring your chimes and ruin your day. Being pelted with cans flung by a dozen or more kids could end your day.

So, the school asked students to bring in cans of peas, corn and other goodies, so each classroom could have its own little armory. One hopes they'll also hold some practice firing sessions. True, we could all hope for better school security than chicken noodle soup can provide, but I think it's a heck of a lot better tactic than the usual "run, hide, weep and beg" plan.

Personally, I recommend cans of creamed corn, not "whole kernel." The creamed corn has better density, so your fast ball is less likely to wobble in flight ...
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Title Annotation:BACK BLAST & OTHER HOT GASES
Comment:The same answer to the same ol' question.(BACK BLAST & OTHER HOT GASES)
Author:Gilmore
Publication:Shooting Industry
Date:May 1, 2015
Words:798
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