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The pirates of PM: curse of the black oyster.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Caption: THE HMS DAUNTLESS, BOUND FOR PORT ROYAL IN THE CARIBBEAN SEA

BUT, CAPTAIN I THINK IT WOULD BE FASCINATING TO MEET A PIRATE.

BE CAREFUL. WHAT YOU WISH FOR, MISS CONSTANCE.

THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN ARE A BLOODTHIRSTY LOT!

WHERE DID YOU GET SUCH A FINE PENDANT

IT LOOKS AS THOUGH IT COULD HAVE COME PROM THE TREASURE OF BLACKBEARD HIMSELF.

MY FATHER GAVE IT TO ME MANY YEARS AGO.

AHOY, CAPTAIN! SHIP OFF THE STARBOARD BOW!

YOU'D BEST CLEAR THE DECK, MISS CONSTANCE

A SHIP IN THESE WATERS COULD MEAN TROUBLE!

BLAST ME IF THAT ISN'T THE BLACK OYSTER!

MAN THE CANNONS!

PREPARE FOR BATTLE!

THE BLACK OYSTER GIVES NO QUARTER!

REPEL THE PIRATES!

WHUPS!

THE PIRATES ARE SLIPPING AND SLIDING!

THEIR ROPES ARE BREAKING

ARR! ME LEG.

MY WORD ... IT WOULD APPEAR THESE PIRATES ARE REPELLING THEMSELVES! HEH, HEH.

THIS IS THE SCOURGE OF THE CARIBBEAN?

WHY, SHE'S PRACTICALLY SUNK ALREADY!

HA HA HA! THOSE PIRATES MANAGED TO SNATCH DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY!

HA HA-HEY! WHERE'S MISS CONSTANCE

WELCOME ABOARD THE BLACK OYSTER, MILADY I'M YOUR CAPTAIN ...

... JACK STARLING, AT YER SERVICE, LASS! YOU'RE NOW THE GUEST OF THE BLACK OYSTER!

I HAVE NOTHING OF VALUE! WHAT COULD YOU WANT WITH ME!?

OH, IT'S NOT YOU I BE WANTIN', M'DEAR!

IT'S YER PENDANT!

ARR! AT LAST

THE LONG-LOST TREASURE OF THE BLACK OYSTER IS AT HAND, ME LADDIES!

THE CURSE WILL SOON BE LIFTED!

NOW THAT YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT ABOUT ME?

I SUPPOSE I'LL BE WALKING THE PLANK?

WELL ... UH ... NOT EXACTLY, Y'SEE, OUR PLANK ... WELL, IT ROTTED AWAY.

WHAT KIND OF PIRATE SHIP IS THIS?

THE SAILS ROTTEN ...

THE DECK'S WARPED ...

... AND THE SMELL!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THIS PLACE GOT SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE?

NEVER YE MIND, YOUNG MISS!

ALL WILL BE MADE RIGHT WHEN WE GET BACK OUR MISSING TREASURE.

'TIL THEN, STAY OUT OF THE WAY OR I'LL CLAP YE IN IRONS!

A FEW DAYS LATER ...

THIS TREASURE MAYBE ENOUGH TO BUY A NEW SHIP, CAPTAIN ...

... BUT ALL THE BLACK OYSTER REALLY NEEDS IS SOME PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE.

IT SEEMS SUCH A WASTE.

WAIT 'N' SEE, LASS. WHEN WE GET OUR TREASURE BACK, THE CURSE WILL BE GONE.

HMMM ... FIFTY PACES NORTH BY NORTHEAST ...

... FORTY-NINE, FIFTY!

HEAVE TO, YA SCURVY BILGE RATS! LET'S HAVE AT THAT TREASURE!

X MARKS THE SPOT, HUH? FIGURES.

CAP'N, THIS IS IT! WE'VE FOUND IT!

AVAST, YE LUBBERS! BRING UP THAT TREASURE!

'TIS A THING OF BEAUTY ME HEARTIES!

SHIVER ME TIMBERS!

WOW!

WHAT IS IT! GOLD!? SILVER?! GEMS!?

NO, LASS! THEY'RE TMS FOR THE BLACK OYSTER!

AND THEY'RE WORTH MORE'N ALL TH' GOLD 'N' SILVER IN TH' WORLD.

SO VALUABLE THAT WE THOUGHT IT BEST TO HIDE 'EM AWAY LEST THEY BE LOST OR STOLEN.

YOU MEAN ...

YES! FOR TEN YEARS, WE'VE BEEN CURSED WITH NO PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE AS THE BLACK OYSTER FELL APART AROUND US.

NOW, WITH THESE WE CAN AT LONG LAST BE THE SCOURAGE OF THE CARRIBEAN AGAIN!

AHA! THAT NEW YARDARM COMES WITH NSN 1665-00-000-0002!

WE'LL ORDER THAT AS SOON AS WE REACH TORTUGA!

TMS SHOULD BE AS HIGHLY PRIZED AS PIRATE'S TREASURE.

SO AVOID THE CURSE OF POOR PM. KEEP THOSE MANUALS HANDY AND USE 'EM EVERY DAY!
COPYRIGHT 2004 PS Magazine
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 2004, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

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Publication:PS, the Preventive Maintenance Monthly
Date:Mar 1, 2004
Words:545
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