The many joys - and laughs - of sign language.
SIGNS on shops, businesses or notice boards are essential for trade.
Sometimes they can be intentionally amusing and sometimes they raise a laugh for the wrong reason.
After I used a batch last week, Keith Wigglesworth gave me an example of enterprise: "How about the Indian convenience store in Leeds revelling in the name Singhsburys?" Or the sign on a large waste bin at a store in Canada: Empty When Full. That's either a clear instruction or it could have you pondering its existential meaning.
And the furniture store in America that got it slightly wrong with their free offer of a night stand with every bed.
I looked up a few more, this time those abroad whose original message has been lost in translation.
Such as: Please use the escalator on your behind.
Go slow: accident porn area. Please take care of the sleeping grass. Beware of your hands. Lifts to some place else. Don't forget to carry your thing.
A restaurant sign said: "Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying."
And from Asia: Toilet - one place, one dream; No washing hair or clothes in the toilet please; and Public Toilet Tourism (which is a novel way of spending a penny).
Here are the best of the rest: Hotel in Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Hotel in Bucharest: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Paris hotel: Please leave your values at the front desk.
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
And a very pertinent instruction on a Korean flight: Upon arrival at Kimpo and Kimahie Airport, please wear your clothes.
What kind of flight is that?