Teething trouble is just excuse to throw a wobbly; Siobhan McNally diary of a single mum.
Byline: Siobhan McNally
Ihate you you're the meanest mother in the universe," Jesse yelled, slamming her bedroom door. Well, it would have slammed if Teddy's head wasn't blocking the entrance, along with most of the contents of Jesse's drawers.
"and you're a bum head," she opened the door and added for good measure.
Since getting her first wobbly tooth this week, my five-and-a-half-year-old daughter Jesse seems to have turned into a monster. The "wobbly" clearly meaning "to throw a wobbly at the slightest thing".
"Mummy, can I have an iPad?" she asks.
"No, it's too expensive," I will not unreasonably reply.
"Just open your purse," she demands, clearly confusing it with a bottomless pit.
"No, I don't have enough money," I tell her truthfully, then stand back and watch her erupt - wailing, screaming and flailing arms, acting out all the emotions from trauma to tragic loss.
"Horrible Mummy, I hate you" on and on she will screech. "Oh, go and boil your head," I will unreasonably tell her and we stomp off to separate rooms.
It probably doesn't help that Jesse doesn't have a clue about what things cost and often gets the decimal point wrong.
On holiday recently, she asked for PS300 to buy a cuddly hamster, which made me wonder who was being stuffed.
Even when I do hand money over for an ice cream or pocket money toy, Jesse always manages to drop half of it before she reaches the till. One day she dropped a fiver within three steps of walking off, consoling me with the words: "Don't worry, Mummy, it's only paper money."
In Jesse's world, a coin is worth more than a piece of paper and silver is worth less than shiny bronze. A new 2p piece is her most highly prized currency.
"How many coins do I need for an iPad?" she asked when I told her she'd have to save up for one. "About 25,000 two pence coins," I replied. "Perhaps you should save for the wheelbarrow first."
Anyway, I hope this shouty stage passes quickly, but I worry that as each baby pearly white wobbles and falls out so will we.
I think about that little tooth and remember back to the time my teething baby Jesse would gently chew and dribble on my knuckle, then lift her wobbly head and look up at me adoringly. And not slam doors and tell me she hates me.
Follow me @mcnally_siobhan
I worry that as each pearly white falls out so will we
horrid Jesse's wobbly tooth
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|Publication:||The Mirror (London, England)|
|Date:||Aug 22, 2014|
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