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Tanking it after heist; LUKE WILKINSON takes a tongue-in-cheek look at what he thinks are the six best getaway vehicles for a bank robbery.


WE ALL love the car chase scenes in the movies as the bank robbers make their escape from the cops.

So here, we take a humorous look at some of the vehicles that might be up to the job.

1. FIAT 500 ABARTH If you happen to find yourself robbing a bank in the Italian city of Lucca then the 500 Abarth might be your best getaway car of choice.

A tiny wheelbase and sprightly engines make this the ideal hoon-mobile for narrow streets and tight corners.

It's loud, so people will get out of your way. It's a laugh to drive and sticks to the road like glue.

And you can get it as a convertible, so you can get a nice tan on your jaunt to the border.

It's perfect for evading the Italian rozzers in, with the added bonus of them letting you off when you get caught because you're driving the pride of their nation.

Just make sure it's cash and not gold you're pinching, it wouldn't move with a ton of bullion over the rear axle.

2. JAGUAR F-TYPE V6 S Bear with me, I know you can never have too much power but Jaguar may have found the limit. The V6 F-Types are plenty fast enough to get away from PC Plod in his Vauxhall Astra panda car.

The last thing you want is for the rear of the car to suddenly overtake the front halfway round a hairpin and your lacklustre effort of a bank heist being broadcasted to the nation on Police, Camera, Action. It's just embarrassing.

The 3.0 litre 375bhp engine also has the added benefit of being available as a manual so, if you're a dedicated petrolhead as well as a master criminal, you can wring every possible horsepower out of the Jag and relish the moment.

But, unfortunately, the Jag F-Type isn't the most practical car in the world, so maybe consider emptying a jewellery store instead of a bank vault. Posh earrings and swank watches can go in the glovebox.

3. FORD TRANSIT CUSTOM Ideal for huge scores, the Ford Transit could comfortably accommodate all the gold in Britain and still have enough space for a nice sideboard.

Back when it was first produced in 1965, the vast majority of bank jobs involved a Transit as a getaway vehicle. Why not continue the tradition? They've got some poke for a van, with the most powerful engine producing 153bhp and 284 ft/lbs of torque. They can haul up to 1500kg of stolen goods, and can easily sit on the motorway at 100mph all day - because you're a criminal and don't care about speeding fines.

And if you take a sledgehammer to a few of the panels before you set off, you'll look like the local builder and slip completely under the radar.

4. HSV GTS Horsepower. Now is the time for its application. Throw sophistication out of the window and get yourself a bit of Aussie madness.

Go for 6.2-litres of fire-breathing, noisemaking, tyre-smoking lunacy wrapped in a body with more creases in it than a tatty old bank note.

Holden Special Vehicles have taken a Commodore V8, (which was hardly pedestrian to begin with) and turned the wick up until it produces 576bhp and enough torque to tear a hole in time.

If you're the type of criminal with a taste for theatrics, worm your way into a Holden dealership (preferably at about two in the morning, after entering by means of a brick thrown at high velocity through the front window) and snap one up.

They're fast and mad. And its a saloon car, so it'll be practical. Which is nice.

5. DACIA SANDERO For the cash-strapped criminal, the Dacia Sandero might not be as bad as its sub-PS6000 price tag suggests.

The mechanics are proven and bomb-proof, according to the reviews, and it's pretty spacious for a car of its size.

And 90bhp and 161ft/lbs of torque from the most powerful diesel isn't bad considering the shell only weighs about a tonne. A top speed of 104 mph is pretty decent, too.

It's a good starting point to use for the occasional rural post office or small-time bank job.

6. FV4034 CHALLENGER 2 Just on the off-chance that you find yourself dealing with a bit more heat than the local authorities, as may be the case if you're on your way out of Fort Knox with PS200billion in tow, this is the ideal machine.

It's a bit pricey new, at PS4.2million, but shop about on the second-hand market and I'm sure you can find yourself a bargain.

The 26-litre diesel V12 makes a massive 1200bhp, which gives a Bugatti Veyron supercar a run for its money in terms of raw power.

It is quite heavy though, weighing in at 62.5 tonnes, which does have a negative effect on performance.

But it's rugged (like a Toyota Hilux), great off-road (like a Land Rover Defender) and has a powerful presence (like an Audi A8).

Unfortunately, the boot space is rather limited and the lack of manoeuvrability makes it unsuitable for anything based in a busy city.

And it's not the most comfortable thing in the world. Or the fastest. But it's a tank, so who cares?
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jun 10, 2016
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