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The band Trappist formed to beat you down with punishing hardcore music and lift you up with the wisdom of the ancient brewing monks of old. A true aficionado band that goes as far as pairing obscure craft beer with each track on their album Ancient Brewing Tactics. It sounds delicious, literally. I was able to figure out how to merge calls on my phone and contact two-thirds of the band, Phil Vera and Chris Dodge, to interrupt their lunch breaks for a quick chat.

I feel like we're doing this all wrong? There should be some pints involved.

Chris: I know. We need a take two.

What are you guys drinking at the moment?

Phil: Water.

C: Coffee.

That's brewed.

C: Yeah, it's brewed so technically I'm drinking a brew right now.

When's the coffee-based band comin' out?

C: That's coming out. We got tons of side projects--the band Barista. We'll have an album on Earache.

What's the stupidest name you ever heard for an IPA?

C: There's so many because I think everyone has to default to some sort of pun that has to do with hops.

P. It's always some 70s peace, love, groovy something.

C: Like some "Hazed and Confused" sort of thing.

The thing that turned me off about the new wave of craft beers were the names alone.

P. You got to go in blindfolded.

Give me a Blatz beer from grandpa's basement already!

C: Yeah, you can't put down Blatz.

P. Once it's in your hand you can't put it down.

It's a great name for a beer--great band as well!

C: There's a beer band. It's very descriptive.

P. It's almost what comes out of your ass after.

If you could play any brewery, which one would it be?

C: I don't know. We just went to the East Coast and played three beer shows in a row.

P. Dogfish Head Brewery was fucking amazing!

C: We played their brew pub which was the first thing they opened before their brewery and tasting room. They started out as a brew pub and they have a stage in there. So you go inside and it's just like families eating wood-fired pizzas and stuff, like, This is going to be interesting. It clearly wasn't a show--like a hardcore show--but it still ended up being fun and going off. All the people from Dogfish Head were all excited, like, "Our VP of sales was in the pit! That was awesome!"

That's great. It's all about playing outside the box.

C: That's exactly what I liked--that it wasn't just your typical show. Because there's something to be said for that. We played a million shows with the usual suspects, which is always a good time, but it's a lot more fun I think and it's a better story when you do something outside of the norm.

P: The New York Show wasn't a normal show either. It was at Saint Vitus but different breweries were set up in there selling beer.

If you could travel anywhere in the world for a beercation, where would it be?

C: Gotta be Belgium, right?

P: Belgium or the Netherlands. We're trying to set that up for next year.

A monastery would be great to play!

C: A lot of 'em have tasting rooms.

Have you done an official tour? Is that a topic that ever comes up?

C: The most we're ever going to do is long weekends, maybe a week at the most. We're workin' stiffs.

Worst question: deserted-island situation--you have a Pabst, Coors Light and White Claw hard seltzer. Drink one or die?

C: I would drink all three of 'em if I'm in a life-or-death situation. I would go against my no-corporate-beer policy and drink whatever is available. I'm not that dumb.


* RATT Out of the Cellar

Pairs well with: Steel Reserve tall boy stuffed in a sock hidden in your crotch

* REPULSION Horrified

Pairs well with: North Coast Old Rasputin Imperial Stout 'cause it's old school and punishing

* BLACK FLAG Damaged

Pairs well with: A six-pack of anything watching Quincy re-runs

* DEICIDE Legion

Pairs well with: 3 Floyds Dark Lord while worshiping the Dark Arts

* ICE CUBE Death Certificate

Pairs well with: St. Ides 40oz while cruising in your '64

* SPAZZ Crush Kill Destroy

Pairs well with: Sixpoint Resin IPA--those slim cans are a good fit for your shorts when skating

* POISON IDEA Kings of Punk

Pairs well with: Any broken bottle to carve your band name into your stomach

* JERRY'S KIDS Is This My World?

Pairs well with: Sam Adams Boston Lager and a townie Red Sox ball cap worn backwards

* BRUJERIA Raza Odiada

Pairs well with: Insurgente Tiniebla porque matar a los gueros

* KENNY ROGERS The Gambler

Pairs well with: Urban South Holy Roller IPA so you know when to fold 'em

* CARCASS Reek of Putrefaction

Pairs well with: The Monarchy Methusalem Adambier which is just as wet, musty and sour

* VAN HALEN 7984

Pairs well with: Grzaniec, a hot beer for your hot teacher

* DANZIG Danzig

Pairs well with: Danzig Baltic Porter 'cause--well, Danzig


Pairs well with: A dumpster
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Title Annotation:LARBAGE
Author:Hitz, Sam
Date:Mar 14, 2019
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