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TONY PARSONS: I WON'T TOUCH A DROP.

Byline: TONY PARSONS

A LOT of people hate the squeegee merchants who ambush motorists at red lights. Not I.

Personally, I always let the poor fellows scrape the grime from my windscreen, and I am happy to reward them for their efforts with a pound coin.

By accepting this service, I am saying to the squeegee merchants: OK, you might have just jumped off the back of a lorry and you may be a pain in the neck, but you are here now and trying to earn an honest wage under difficult circumstances.

Good luck to you, mate.

Good luck to you even though a sadly high proportion of your number are incredibly clumsy, invariably dropping the pound coin that is placed in their mitts, thus starting a mad scramble to give them another one just as the lights go green.

Now it has been brought to my attention that all squeegee merchants are incredibly clumsy.

For they are robbing the people who try to treat them with kindness.

You give them a pound, they drop it - and always inside the car - so you hurry to give them another.

But it is not the pound they have dropped.

It is the two pence piece hidden in their palm.

The floor under the driver's seat of my car turns out to be covered in two pence pieces.

What a mug I have been.

And what damage these grinning thieves are doing to our attitude to foreigners.

The next time a squeegee merchant drops a coin in your car, politely ask to see what he has in his hand.

It will be more than his filthy bucket.

CAPTION(S):

CON: Squeegee
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jun 21, 2004
Words:279
Previous Article:TONY PARSONS: It pays to be crafty.
Next Article:Fair City star 'paid T100,000'.


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