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"It is an attempt to subvert the child's bodily autonomy, to take away their right to their own space and peace" - Comedian Russell Brand, saying that tickling children should be outlawed.

"Men love cars, because they never answer back" - Broadcaster Janet Street-Porter.

"Every day I'm surprised by how many people ask me if I'm still alive" - Actress Keeley Hawes.

"Better than sex" - Conservative MP Douglas Ross tells the Commons how at least one 84-year-old satisfied customer described a new haggisflavoured ice cream.

"Brexit is beginning to feel like the political equivalent of The Mousetrap" - Tory MP Simon Hoare on the world's longest-running play.

"As ashes in a fireworks rocket, aimed at the Moon, and ignited on Richmond Bridge, please" - Actor Richard E Grant, above, when asked how he would like his body to be disposed of.

"I see everyone on their phones and I wonder, if a herd of lions appeared across the street, I would be the only one to notice" - Writer Judith Kerr.

"God wanted Donald Trump to become president" - White House press secretary Sarah Sanders.

"I have really felt as if the Suez Canal was flowing through my drawing room" - Lady Avon, 98, widow of the late Anthony Eden, prime minister at the time of the Suez crisis.

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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Western Mail (Cardiff, Wales)
Date:Feb 2, 2019
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