Printer Friendly

THE WRITING ON (AND OFF) THE WALL : KIKUYU TO YOU, HALE IRWIN.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Hale Irwin, who to members of the media is human kikuyu, actually did all of us a favor on a hot and stuffy Sunday.

He made sure there wasn't a hot and stuffy Monday.

The United States Senior Open Golf Championship of 1998 at the Riviera Country Club - its members more than happy to give up the use of for a week - came to a merciful end on Irwin's final putt. He misses it and ESPN preempts Asian Women Billiards today to carry 18 more holes of a playoff between him and this seemingly pleasant guy from Argentina who no one really had a clue about.

How many people would have bailed on work to line Hogan's Alley and gaze upon a two-man match today of Bigger Than Any Human Should Be Allowed To Use Berthas? Put it this way: With TV cameras recording it, Riviera might not be considered for the next real major in 2000-something-or-other.

So, hail Hale. Maybe we don't give the jawbreaker of interviews enough credit for his snippy answers to our simple questions. (How did you manage that 77 on Thursday?) But in this case, we should all thank him.

Should. But we aren't gonna. . . .

One more thing, Hale. You shot one-over for the tournament. . . .

Koo-koo-ca-choo. . . .

Someone, go catch Brian Barnes before he peels out of the parking lot and tell him. . . .

Just tell him. . . .

I didn't narc. . . .

Warning: Kikuyu can kill you. . . .

Anyone else have a craving for Koo Koo Roo? . . .

The fact Queen Anna Murdoch has given up on her marriage to King Rupert before the Dodgers are officially eliminated from the wild-card race shows one thing: She's a realist, and she has no interest in Dodger Stadium visitation rights. . . .

Rupe's next reported media heist will be a stake in a German TV company that'll cost him between $550 million and $650 million. Broadcasting & Cable magazine also said recently that the Mad Aussie might be on the verge of a $6 billion-plus-spending spree, buying up more TV stations for his Fox network.

The more the merrier, says Anna. Just as long as it can be equally split. . . .

Ecology-minded NASCAR race teams are getting rid of track-used tires by selling them to fans for $5 to $10 a pop. . . .

Nominated last week for an Emmy in the category of ``Hairstyling: miniseries, movie or special'' are Leonard Drake, Pauletta O. Lewis-Irwin and Alan Scott. You know they deserve it. They're the gang from HBO Pictures' ``Don King: Only in America.''. . . .

Thanks to those who called with a kind reminder that the Marx Brothers' ``Duck Soup'' did make the AFI's top-100 list (at No. 85) even if ``A Day At The Races'' didn't. . . .

Newly inducted Hall of Famer Jamie Jarrin sounds the same today as he did when he started nearly 40 years ago. . . .

Bingo, bango, bongo: Ted Dawson has been working as a sportscaster in Palm Springs on the ABC affiliate, KESQ Channel 3, for the past few months. . . .

Attention Pauley Pavilion: Wells Fargo just bought the naming rights to Arizona State's Athletic Center for the next 10 years, and all it cost the bank was $5 million. Accumulated, no doubt, from out-of-network ATM fees. . . .

Winter, spring, summer or fall, Al Michaels just has to call, and a room will be there . . . you've got a friend. . . .

L.A. has only to beat out Portland (does Tonya still live there?) to host the 2002 National Figure Skating Championships. . . .

The Mighty Ducks have a job posting for ``Entertainment Manager,'' someone responsible for developing and implementing the in-arena show (that should be especially distracting during lousy play on the ice by the team). Highly creative, motivated, organized individuals with live-show experience can mail resumes to Anaheim Sports, Human Resources, P.O. Box 2000, Anaheim 92803, or fax it to (714) 940-2224. We're not making this up. . . .

Time to file a missing persons report on women's pro beach volleyball. . . .

By the way, Pete Sampras can let us know when an L.A. tennis tournament fits into his schedule, and we'll plan around it. . . .

And Shaquille O'Neal wonders why he's not the Lakers' team rep. . . .
COPYRIGHT 1998 Daily News
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1998, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

Article Details
Printer friendly Cite/link Email Feedback
Title Annotation:SPORTS
Publication:Daily News (Los Angeles, CA)
Date:Jul 27, 1998
Words:688
Previous Article:EXCESSIVE BREAKS CONSIDERED COMPANY THEFT.
Next Article:SIDEWAYS GLANCE : EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A KINGPIN.


Related Articles
SURFING THE TUBE : TUESDAY.
ALL HALE IRWIN; SENIOR PLAYERS AWED BY TOURNEY FAVORITE.
WILL IT BE TWO-MAN RACE?; IRWIN, MORGAN STRONGLY FAVORED.
RIVIERA PLAYS ROUGH; FLOYD ONLY ONE TO BREAK PAR ON FIRST DAY.
ON THE FRINGE : HACKER OF THE DAY.
ON THE FRINGE : HACKER OF THE DAY.
IRWIN IN POSITION TO POUNCE; TOP TOUR PLAYER ONLY 3 SHOTS BACK.
A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN; IRWIN JUST BEING IRWIN AS HE RALLIES TO WIN OPEN TITLE.
IRWIN STAYS ABLAZE; SENIOR SENSATION LEADS RALPHS EVENT.
COLBERT TAKES LEAD FROM IRWIN.

Terms of use | Copyright © 2018 Farlex, Inc. | Feedback | For webmasters