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THE GREAT BREAST DEBATE; Is any woman ever really happy with her boobs?

Up front ABOUT OUR ASSETS

Hate your breasts? You're not alone. We grilled our readers to find out how they feel about their boobs - and everyone else's

To nip or not?

75% said if there was no pain, risk or cost, they would change the appearance of their boobs.

Bigger and perkier were the two most common things on the magic wish list. But only 44% have actually seriously considered surgery.

The biggest barrier is cost: a third said that was the number-one thing holding them back. Fear of something going wrong was a big consideration too.

THE BIGGEST COMPLAINT WOMEN HAVE ABOUT

BOOBS?

Being too droopy - over a third of readers said a lack of perkiness was the main thing getting them down.

Exactly the same amount (one fifth) said they wanted to be bigger as said they wanted to be smaller.

Other complaints included scarring, stretch marks, changes after pregnancy, large nipples, too much space between breasts, pointing in different 75% of us directions and being lopsided.

TWEAK NOT TUCK

According to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS) there was a surge in boob jobs after the recession, with a preference for 'glamour model-style' breasts. And while it's still the most popular cosmetic operation, last year breast augmentations went down by 23%. Women are also favouring a smaller, more natural effect, with breast reductions actually going up by 3%. Surgeons are calling this trend 'tweak not tuck'.

SURGERY SHAME?

Even supermodels aren't happy with their assets. According to recent reports supermodel Gisele Bundchen allegedly donned a burqa to have a breast procedure at a Parisian clinic.

75% of us compare our boobs to other women's - whether it's friends, strangers or celebrities.

'OUR SURVEY SAID...

Nearly 30% of women we surveyed told us they HATE their breasts.

A third of women said the urge to compare their boobs with other women's was constant. 'It's all the time - and it makes me want to cry,' said one. Out shopping, watching TV, at the gym, or on the beach, it seems we're often green-eyed with envy.

Over half of us try to improve what we've got with padded or push-up bras.

Less than 10% of women we surveyed said they LOVE their breasts.

Another30% said that, for better or worse, they have come to accept what they've got.

Luckily, a whopping 93% of us admit that our partners love our boobs more than we do, so maybe we should stop being so hard on ourselves.

'Her left one's better than mine, but my right one is nicer'

Nobody does it better?

We asked you whose boobs you most admired and - if we're honest - there was no clear winner. Which we like! The three biggest girl crushes were

Kelly Brook, 35, Kim Kardashian, 34, and Michelle Keegan, 28. Katy Perry, Scarlett Johansson and emily Ratajkowski (from the Blurred Lines video) were popular choices too. Reflecting the trend towards natural, the three celebrities we would NOT swap boobs with were

WHAT DO WE CALL OUR BREASTS?

The most common way we refer to them is boobs, followed at some distance by boobies (cute), tits (crude) and breasts (well, aren't you grown up?).

Less common were the girls, the twins, my friends, puppies, melons, knockers, baps and jugs.

But total kudos to the ladies who refer to them as breasticles, chesticles, babylons, bazookas, guzingas, bangers, noobies and, a possible winner, Michael Boobles..

Boobie prize (sorry) to the poor lass who just went for 'useless'.

Sadly, no mention of 'jellies on a plate' in our survey

Katie Price, 37, Jodie Marsh, 36, and Tara Reid, 39, but voters were quick to point out it was Katie's boobs before her recent reduction that they were thinking of.

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

We asked what the best compliment you've ever had about your breasts was, and, oh my, there were a lot of opinions

Almost a fifth of you said you'd never been complimented, or if you had, you certainly didn't remember it (one hopeful lady is still waiting). While another bunch said you had received a compliment, but didn't believe it.

A smattering pointed out that having someone praise you especially for a body part would constitute an insult anyway.

But adulation that you did get (and enjoyed) ranged from the lovely ('they're great', 'they're perfect', 'they're the best') to the bizarre ('they're squishy', 'they're juicy', 'they're like two moons in the sky').

Some chaps could definitely do with a day at charm school: 'They're alright', 'They look good for your age', and, 'At least you've got boobs' would be unlikely to leave us impressed.

But credit to the men who flattered with lines like, 'I love your boobs, as you take offyour bra they just stay there; they're perfect', or, 'you should never worry about them, they're great', and even, 'I'd love to live in between your tits forever'. It's good to have goals.

BOOST YOUR BOOBS WITHOUT SURGERY?

From expensive cream to exercises, we find out if there are any no-knife alternatives that work

Boom or bust: The PS367 boob cream

When it comes to boob-boosting, we're a nation of sceptics. Of the women we surveyed, only 9% said they'd used bust-firming creams And only a paltry 7% of them had seen any improvement afterwards.

Only of our readers they'd used creams paltry 7% had seen improvement afterwards In the name of science, beauty editor Lynne gave a new cream a go - not just any old stuff, it's the da Vinci of the boob world. Say hello to Cellcosmet CellBust-XT-A, a 'miracle' for the ageing decolletage. Find out what she thought after applying it to her right boob for a month.

LyNNE SayS: This promises to turn back the clock on ageing boobs using (and I quote) 'an unprecedented high tech polyactive formula for a spectacular redefining effect.' The feel of it on my bust (well, 50% of it anyway) is gorgeous. It's so silky I'm tempted to pop a bit on my face too. By the end of my experiment, Right Boob is undoubtedly smoother and silkier. (In the interests of fairness I've been using normal body lotion on unlucky Left Boob, so they've both had a bit of moisturiser love.) Looking in the mirror, though, I can't say I can see any difference between left and right. No magical lifting, no miraculous plumping. Hand on breast, I'd say the cream is lovely to use, but you'd be better offputting the money into a boob job fund. After all, a year's supply would probably cost you as much as surgery anyway.

Only 9% of our readers said they'd used bust-firming creams and only a paltry 7% of them had seen any improvement afterwards

FIT TITS: CAN YOU TONE YOUR BOOBS WITH EXERCISE?

If someone discovered an exercise that miraculously made boobs grow, we'd all be queuing up for gym memberships, or actually making use of the ones we currently have. Sadly, there isn't, but there are ways to make them appear a bit more perky.

'Breasts are made up of body fat, and while you can't use exercise to make them bigger, you CAN tone the muscles around them to give them a lift,' says PhD Woman Ambassador, Sian Toal. 'Try a rowing machine, as this pulls shoulders back and improves posture, which in turn makes your boobs appear more lifted and pushed out.'

A HELPING HAND

Three simple things you can do at home to improve your cleavage

1 Always use a high SPF on your chest to avoid premature and wrinkly skin.

2 Try to avoid always sleeping on your side, as this can encourage lines between your boobs.

3 Give your decolletage a splash of cold water after your shower. This promotes collagen production and boosts circulation, so your skin will be the best it can be.

DO NON-SURGICAL TREATMENTS WORK?

Unless you're injecting fat, there's no real treatment that can make your boobs bigger, but there are methods to tighten and improve skin tone. We sent a tester out to trial the new Frozen Frontiere Cleavage Facial from Jill Zander.

TESTER SAYS: I didn't expect to see a huge difference after my treatment, as it's meant to give a 'subtle' tighten, but I was surprised. It took 30 mins in all, and 10 mins of that was rolling a ball of ice over my chest. It was chilly, but my cleavage looked more youthful and glowing. I wouldn't dish out PS95 a month on a treatment, but if I had a special event I'd do it again.

NB: The cleavage facial, from PS95, available at the Jill Zander Skin Rejuvenation Clinic; Jillzander.co.uk
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:Aug 16, 2015
Words:1448
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