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T he second of my [...].

Byline: lee THOMAS

The second of my four sisters got married at the start of the month. And as a super organised person, she had taken care of every single tiny detail of her big day. In fact, I can guarantee you that there is less planning going into the 2012 Olympics.

The afternoon before, we all got together at her house. Disaster quickly struck when the lenses suddenly popped out of my Dad's glasses. Without them he cannot see a thing, as the lenses are thicker than Lady Gaga's makeup. So it fell to me to try and fix them, which meant I ended up nearly Super Gluing them to my fingers.

Next up on the problem front, my wife had an allergic reaction to the Ivy that she had collected from the garden to make the table decorations. As a result, she was up all that night and couldn't eat anything the following day.

My job on the morning of the wedding was to dress our little lad in his suit and then drive him and my Nan to the venue, which should have been easy enough.

Except, as I refuse to buy Sat Nav and didn't have a map or directions, I got lost. What's worse, I'd told other members of my family that I knew where I was going, so they were blindly following me down country lanes in the middle of nowhere.

And when we finally got to the hotel, my son started telling anyone who would listen that he couldn't find his 'bottom hole', which is probably not what guests of a five star hotel wanted to hear as they were checking in.

What he actually meant was that he couldn't find the buttonhole flower that he'd been promised for his outfit!

Luckily the rest of the big day went smoothly.

The following morning however, the shower in our room would only produce freezing cold water.

So at check out, we pointed this out, and were told that it was down to supply and demand of hot water.

I don't know about you, but if I'm paying top whack for a room, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect hot water.

So we had to do a bit of 'haggling' on the price. (If you've read my previous columns, you'll know I can't help but haggle!) And weeks later, my sister is still on honeymoon in Hong Kong, and will be until the end of the month, because like the weather, one thing you can't plan for at your wedding is Iceland's volcanoes... .Hear Lee Thomas weekdays from 2-7pm only on Heart 103.4 & 96.3
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Post (Liverpool, England)
Date:Apr 21, 2010
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