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Switched On: Watts' power over women; TODAY'S TELLY.



JELLIED eels are not the only slimy thing to turn stomachs in the East End.

Tonight, Den greases his way through the ladies of the Square with all the charm of a perspiring warthog.

"Is that the face that launched a thousand ships?" he asks one unimpressed extra.

"Great breakfast darlin', maybe I can return the favour some time," he tells Jane.

Crikey, he even sidles up to Pat to comment on her clothes.

"A bit of smooth talking works every time," he tells Jim. No it doesn't. But somehow Chrissie and Kate can't seem to get enough.

And while we all know what happened with Leslie Grantham in the BBC dressing room with that laptop, does Chrissie need to be quite so graphic?

"I've seen a dress so sexy I'll have him choking on his chicken jalfrezi," she tells Kate. Purlease.

Elsewhere, it's Pat's first day in the job at the bookies but it's not the ponies on the flat which are causing her anguish. Andy has left bank notes all over the office and cash-strapped Pat is tempted.

Ian's ploy to get sympathy from Jane by being wheelchair-bound is ruined when he's caught standing up to eat a sausage sandwich.

And Dot - bless her Cotton socks - is worried something is seriously wrong with her health.


THE last in this series reveals the sorry tales of three fraudsters who all had their white collars felt by the law. The tax barrister who tried to make pounds 1.6million, an accountant who obtained false finance and the farmer who got involved in dodgy mobile phone dealings.


SMITTEN: Chrissie
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jul 15, 2004
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