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Stinker of a Winter; Farrell and Co saddled with a Tale of twaddle.

Byline: Chris Hunneysett

A New York Winter's Tale Cert 12A THIS romantic airy-fairy tale thuds to earth with all the grace of Frankenstein's monster.

And just like the horror creature - it is really badly put together. It has no working brain, there is a feeble heart sewn on to its sleeve and it has sickly sentiment oozing out of every pore.

Ham-fisted writer, director and producer Akiva Goldsman has also made a mess of the plot - a baffling stitching together of Bible stories, Greek mythology, European fairy tales and Native American spirituality.

Pity, because the charismatic cast, including some of my favourite actors such as Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, Will Smith, Eva Marie Saint and newcomers Lucy Griffiths Jessica Brown Findlay, all try hard to breathe life into their roles.

TheBIG Farrell, as orphaned thief Peter Lake, has to carry most of the weight of this confused tale.

It is 1916 and he is on the run from demonic crime boss Pearly Soames, played by Crowe with a rubbish scar and absurd Irish accent.

One winter's night Lake breaks into the Manhattan mansion of heiress Beverly Penn (Brown Findlay). Lake falls in love with beautiful, young Penn, who is dying of "consumption" but their romance seems doomed when Soames catches up with him.

Then our hero inexplicably turns up in today's New York, having lost his memory. He befriends Virginia (Jennifer Connelly) and she helps him explore his past.

BAFFLING: Crowe, and Connelly There are fights, chases, winged horses, spirit guides and picture-postcard scenery but the dialogue is inane there is no tension or wit and nothing makes sense.

CAPTION(S):

BAFFLING: Crowe, above, and Connelly

LOAD OF PONY: Farrell and Griffiths fail to save lame Tale
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Title Annotation:Features; Opinion, Column
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Feb 23, 2014
Words:287
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