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Still looking for a blonde bomshell.

Arthur Miller, who passed away recently, was one of my heroes. But much as I admired his writing, it was something else he did that made him an icon to me.

When I was a shy, glasses-wearing, "specky four-eyes" teenager, seeing photos of Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe gave me lot of hope.

So too did the fact that Woody Allen managed to pull Diane Keaton and Peter Sellers married Britt Ekland.

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but you've still got to hope that such couplings aren't the product of a bygone age.

I suppose part of the problem is non-glasses-wearers desperately trying to set you up with their glasses-wearing friends.

"You'll like her," they say. "Sure, she's a bit short, and you could describe her as plump...but she wears glasses!"

Oh, that's ok then? So do Harry Potter and Dame Edna Everidge, but I haven't seen their happy wedding photos in Hello yet.

Of course, an obvious suggestion would be to wear contact lenses.

Instead, to aid my chances of meeting my own beautiful film-star, I've changed my job. I used to work in a diamond merchants. Then, of course, I became a Pen Idol.

But going from "jeweller" to "salaried writer (I know, I know, I can't believe I'm paid for this either) who can also get his hands on cheap diamonds" still wasn't impressing them. I had to make a bold move. I went and got a job in an opticians.

My thinking? Unlike Woody, Peter and Arthur, the reason I'm still blonde-bombshell-less isn't related to my lack of fame, writing ability or hair, maybe all these years I've just been wearing the WRONG glasses.
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Publication:Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, England)
Date:Mar 7, 2005
Words:279
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