Star Challenge: Wash that man right out of your hair; Being loved up's all very nice, but it can take the Spanish archer (El Bow) for a girl to up the ante.
GWYNETH PALTROW `Oi, fatty,' someone yells. `As if...' laughs Ms Gorge in the face of lesser mortals. What they actually said, Gwynnie, was, `Oh no, flatties!' Ben `Hush Puppy' Affleck must have rubbed off. Suddenly single, Rapunzel's let down her hair, but forgot to do up her top.
KATE MOSS Kate, Gawd love her, didn't just wash her ex out of her hair, she chopped it off when she and the divine Depp split up. And, as all the ladies know (Vanessa, get with the programme), black is the new black, the saucy mares. Gives a whole new meaning to wash 'n' go...
NICOLE APPLETON This pair look like they've just got out of bed, but enough about their sex life. Post-Robster, Nicole's slinkier than a Slinky covered in baby oil. (PS Who's the Robster pretender, above - check out the mystery man's trainers. He'll be after his bird next. Liam, that you...?)
VANESSA FELTZ After she got the old heave-ho (from a man in a Timmy Mallett tie?), Vanessa lost 10st of excess flab - but we have no news of his current whereabouts. New hair, new figure, new frock, she's a born again woman, non-virgin variety...
NICOLE KIDMAN `Smile Nicole, give your bum a lift,' says Tom Thumb. `I would,' she says, `but you're still here.' One divorce later and she's happy as a sandboy called Larry in high heels (cos the next fella's gonna be a big 'un) and a frock cunningly fashioned to look like a toga. Way to go.
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|Publication:||The Mirror (London, England)|
|Date:||Sep 29, 2001|
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