It has nothing to do with the fact that I squander so much money trying to win the lottery with more and more entries to the ever increasing amounts of draws that I am compelled to take part in as I know my numbers and heaven forefend they should roll out (never have since it started obviously).
No, apparently it is all down to my attire according to yet more useless research from some university who have persuaded some gullible idiots to fund their time-consuming pointless antics.
And the news is: they may burn a bigger hole in your wallet - but designer clothes are a sound investment (Research funded by Burberry or French Connection or someone similar obviously). No, let's hear them out apparently wearing well-known brand labels makes you appear wealthier, more worthy of respect and can even help you bag a better job, the specifically targeted study has found.
Researchers said in one test, women who wore a well-known brand on a polo shirt were given almost twice as much money when they solicited (for charity I think) than when they wore non-designer outfits. In addition, wearing branded clothes not only increased a man''''s chances of being judged suitable for a job but even the salary offered increased by 9%. Interviewers obviously don't think let's have a look at this person's CV and evaluate their suitability for this job any more. They are so blinkered they think - "Wow! This dude's got a Ben Sherman shirt on, Diesel pants and what looks like a nice pair of Henri Lloyd Bergamo Black and Royal Blue trainers. When can he start?" So if you've ever been unlucky in a job interview you really must make the effort and smarten yourself up a bit with some decent gear. And if you're feeling the pinch like most ordinary folk you could always print a picture of a crocodile off the internet and glue that to your shirt. They'll think you're wearing Lacoste and you'll breeze through your interview even if you say, "Cos I need the money to get hammered" to the "Why do you want to work here?" bit.
If you're feeling the pinch like most ordinary folk you could always print a picture of a crocodile and glue that to your shirt.