For several weeks now, in fact since the initial election, which I won outright, I have been holed up in the Dutch Embassy here in Harare. Mainly on account of a splitting headache that I would suffer immediately I left this sanctuary.
You will be pleased to know that the run-off election was conducted in the accredited manner. Anyone not showing a red ink stain on their finger would be asked later in a survey why they couldn't make it to the voting booth and would usually leave with a vivid red mark put somewhere on their body, so that they were not accidentally counted twice within the same rigorous survey.
All Zimbabwe voting papers are annotated with a unique number so that anyone not voting for our newly-elected president could be traced later and asked if they had any particular grievance and how best it might be resolved.
Rajendra, please be assured that things have improved no end since Ian Smith left, but if you could spare the time to pop over to Zimbabwe, I am sure President Mugabe would lay on a right royal welcoming committee especially for you.
Once again my sincere apologises for all my sad lapses in letting you down.
I may not be able to meet you at the airport, but before you land, do remember to put some red ink on your index finger.
Otherwise you might be asked to contribute your worldly views as part of our next statistical survey.
Copyright A[umlaut] 2008 Gulf Daily News
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