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Size matters: how surgery saved my sex life; Embarrassed and humiliated all his life by the size of his penis, David Turney, 47, from Rainham in Essex, decided to have a penoplasty to make it larger. The operation - which he describes as better than winning a million pounds - has changed his life.

Byline: Sally Morgan

`Whenever I look at my nude reflection, I'm very proud of my physique. For the first time in 30 years, I can admire my manhood without feeling shame and disgust. My penis might look average, but to me it seems huge when I remember how tiny it was. It used to be just an inch long.

`I first realised I was much smaller than other boys when I was 13. In the changing room after PE, I'd try to hide behind a towel because my penis seemed minute. But the lads noticed and called me "Little Dick".

`Back in my bedroom I'd break down in tears. I became very withdrawn and introverted. I also started suffering from migraines, brought on, I believe, by anxiety about my size. I'd wake up every day, hoping my penis had grown overnight.

`I'd read problem pages in magazines. Although agony aunts try to reassure guys that it's what you do with it that counts, I knew they were wrong. What pleasure would any girl get from a penis barely three inches when erect?

`My complex about my small penis plagued me every day of my life. Sometimes I'd pad out my underpants with rolled-up socks, and in the gents' toilets I'd use a cubicle instead of the urinal in case another man saw me. But being laughed at and rejected by women was my biggest fear.

`I was 16 when I left school and got a job with the civil service. My department - personnel - was predominantly female, but although I was very attracted to women, it would have been easier for me to fly to the moon than to ask one out. Part of me wished I had a girlfriend, but the other part told me any sexual encounter would be disastrous. The closest I ever came to the opposite sex was a drunken kiss under the mistletoe at a Christmas party.

`I'd often wonder what it would be like to love and be loved, and sadness would overwhelm me. Over the years I concluded that women and sex weren't for me, and resigned myself to a life without marriage or children.

`Then a quiet, shy girl called Sheila came to work in my office. She seemed very nice, but we didn't really talk much except professionally, so when she discreetly asked me out for a drink a year later, I was so shocked I assumed someone had dared her to do it for a bet. However, a friend told me to go for it as Sheila wasn't the sort of girl to get involved in a cruel office joke. I'm so pleased I took his advice.

`We got on so well I felt confident enough to ask her out again. We're both very quiet people, but that suited us. Sheila is highly intelligent and has a strong personality.

`Although we enjoyed each other's company, and would kiss and cuddle, the thought of being a let-down in bed made me feel sick. I was terrified of losing her. But not having sex wasn't a problem and Sheila didn't complain or ask why. We'd been going out with each other for a year when the subject of marriage cropped up. I was finally moving out of my parents' house to my own flat and asked Sheila if she'd like to move in with me. That's when she suggested perhaps we should tie the knot first, and I agreed.

`We got married on my 31st birthday, 28 December 1985. It was a lovely day, but marred by the fact I was suffering one of my migraines because I knew I'd have to perform that night. As I feared, making love was a flop in every sense of the word. I came too quickly - in a matter of seconds - for Sheila to derive any pleasure, yet she didn't show her frustration towards me. Although it was obvious to me that Sheila could hardly feel me inside her, she never made me feel inadequate.

`When I explained to her how worthless and miserable my inability to give her sexual satisfaction made me feel, she consoled me, telling me it didn't matter, she loved me anyway. `One evening I switched on the TV and there was a documentary on about an exclusive club in America for well-endowed guys. They had to be at least eight inches unerect to qualify, which made me cringe with shame and envy. On another show, this woman was describing a sexual experience, and she said, provoking hoots of laughter, "If he'd been an inch smaller he would have been a woman." She could have been talking about me and that made me feel even smaller inside.

`But the worst moment occurred in the office. Some female colleagues were giggling at a magazine article about a guy who'd had a penis extension, and because his name was Dave, one of them shrieked, "Oooh look, Dave's had his chopper enlarged!" I pretended not to hear, but felt so sick and demoralised I thought I was going to collapse.

`I have never been under any illusions about what women honestly prefer. All things being equal, given a choice between a man with a large penis and one with a small penis, a woman will choose the better-endowed male. I wanted to be that man for my wife.

`Then in 1991 I read an article about a guy who'd had penoplasty - a penis enlargement operation - in America. It made me wish I could have one too, but I'd never heard of such a procedure in the UK. Five years later, Sheila was reading the Daily Mirror when she found an ad for The Belvedere Private Clinic, which listed penoplasty under its cosmetic surgery for men. The timing was uncanny as I'd just been made redundant and with the financial package I'd been given, I could afford the pounds 2,900 operation. After discussing it with Sheila, who put me under no pressure to go ahead, I booked a consultation. D-Day was four months later, on 13 August 1996.

`I was both frightened and excited. I knew the chance to lead a normal sex life was only two hours away. The first part of my operation was the lengthening process. By cutting the suspensory ligament, which attaches the penis to the pubic bone, the surgeon gave me an extra inch. Next was the girth expansion part. Fat had already been extracted from my thighs and was then injected into my penis. Overall, this process made me twice as large as before - two inches. When I came round from the anaesthetic, I could feel a dull ache and, tentatively, I lifted my gown. My penis looked huge. I was thrilled.

`Twice a day for two weeks, I had to bathe my penis in a special solution to prevent infection. Sheila insisted on doing it for me and for the first time since I'd known her, I didn't feel embarrassed about her looking at my penis. When she removed the bandage, I felt wonderful. My new penis looked quite substantial and I was really looking forward to trying it out. `The first time I got an erection, my penis ached, and it stung when I went to the loo. But with a 100% increase in size - two inches when flaccid, five inches when erect - I didn't care. Eight weeks later, Sheila and I made love. For us, it was a mind-blowing experience. Sheila could actually feel me inside her and this time, I could sustain an erection without coming for at least five minutes. To me it was a marathon performance.

`Our sex life improved enormously after the op. I could give Sheila pleasure. And as proof of our increased love-making, Sheila became pregnant. We were over the moon. In February 2001, just before Tabitha was born, I had a top-up operation. More fat was extracted from my thighs to make the circumference of my penis even larger.

`The bond between Sheila and me has grown stronger - mainly because my new self-esteem and body image has made me relax more with her. Nobody, not even my family, knows I've had a penis enlargement, and the only reason I've decided to reveal it now is to encourage other men who might feel as miserable as I did. Why suffer in silence when you can get help? Women have their boobs enlarged so why shouldn't men have their penises extended? If someone asked me to choose between a million pounds and my new, larger penis, the latter would win hands down. You can't put a price on personal happiness.'

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After years of suffering, David's enlargement has improved his love life 100%
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Aug 31, 2002
Words:1453
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