She loved you, yeah, yeah . .
That poor lamb Heather Mills is reported to be so determined to repair her public image and revive her career, she's considering a tell-all interview with Sir Trevor McDonald. That'll be the very same Heather Mills who blamed media interest in her private life for the demise of her marriage.
Full details will, as always, be featured in our favourite mag, The Weekly Pot and Kettle.
LADIES and Gentlemen, brace yourself for some devastating news - Former Farm inmate, Lady Victoria Hervey has announced she is giving up acting. Sob. I do realise this is a double blow, coming in the same week that I reveal I'm giving up my job as body double for Cameron Diaz.
ANOTHER giant leap for mankind, another potential laundry disaster. Scientists this week revealed The Smart Shirt - a T-shirt that automatically monitors the wearer's vital signs, fitness levels and location. It's innovative, progressive and a groundbreaking example of futuristic science. And I bet I'll still be able to turn it pink in the wash.